Don't You Remember
by kurtbastian-niff
Summary: Kurt wakes up 10 years in the future. He finds out that he recently had an accident and everyone's been really worried about him. He's desperately upset to discover that he's married, of all people, to Sebastian Smythe. The last interaction he had with the boy that he can recall, is throwing the tape at the boy, the one of him admitting to tampering with the slushy that hit Blaine
1. Chapter 1

Hi everyone ! i'm reading don't you remember by commen-sense :) it's just fucking amazing ! but on glee kink meme it's not really esay ! So i post here and i hope you liked it ^^ I'm french so sorry for my english;) Enjoy

**Chapter One : **

Sebastian was woken up by the shrill sound of his cell phone. The ringtone was harsh enough to wake the dead, a purposeful move on Sebastian's part to ensure that no matter how deep of a sleep he may have fallen into, he woke up when the phone rang. He grabbed for it, his voice hoarse when he said, "Hello?"

"Sebastian," it was Burt. "Good news kiddo. Kurt's awake."

Sebastian swung his feet off the bed and stood up fast enough for his vision to swim. Ignoring the sudden disorientation, he stumbled towards the bathroom, phone still pressed against his ear. "I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

_

Sebastian flew through the hospital corridors, hastily acknowledging the nods he got from the nurses who were by now well acquainted with his face. They were smiling at him with a knowing look and it only made Sebastian's heart speed up and his desire to see Kurt heighten.

When he got to Kurt's room, he found Blaine waiting outside. He grinned when he saw Sebastian and Sebastian could see that his eyes were rimmed red from crying. Sebastian knew that Kurt's accident had been hard for Blaine. Their breakup in junior year of college hadn't impacted their friendship at all and the two were still as close as they had been when Sebastian had first met them. Blaine was an important part of both his and Kurt's life, probably the only person apart from Kurt who Sebastian could confidently call a friend. He had been there for Sebastian throughout the seven weeks Kurt had been unconscious. If it hadn't been for Blaine and Burt, Sebastian would have cracked under the stress not two days after the accident.

"Hey," Blaine said when Sebastian finally reached him. "I just got here. Burt's inside, the doctor's talking to them. He told us to wait just a couple more minutes until he's done checking up on Kurt."

Sebastian nodded and leaned down to draw Blaine into a tight hug, inhaling deeply. Blaine smelled like hospital corridors and stale coffee but Sebastian still turned his face into his neck, his heart feeling light. "He's okay," he whispered shakily into Blaine's ear, a lump forming in his throat. "Kurt's okay."

"I know," Blaine replied with a small laugh, patting his back. "I told you he would be."

Sebastian pulled back. "I can't thank you enough for being here. I don't know what I would have done without you, killer."

"Hey, none of that okay. What kind of friend would I be if I wasn't here for you guys when you needed me?"

Sebastian looked away from Blaine's shining eyes to the window of Kurt's room. He could see the outline of Doctor Hendricks and Burt standing over Kurt's bed through the blinds. Kurt was sitting propped up on some pillows but his face was obscured by Burt's form. It made Sebastian even more impatient and he tapped his foot and crossed his arms, turning back to Blaine.

"Trust Kurt to wake up when I'm not here," Sebastian said, shaking his head. "He couldn't have chosen a time when I was sitting vigil by his bedside? Now I'm going to get endless crap about how I wasn't there when he woke up."

"You're looking forward to every teasing comment aren't you?" Blaine asked with a smile.

"Obviously."

Sebastian was just about to ignore the doctor's request and barge in to Kurt's room when the door opened and Burt came out. The look on his face made Sebastian's grin waver and his stomach clench. "What's wrong?"

"Kurt's fine," Burt said but his brow was still creased. "He's just – he uh."

"Burt, what is it?" Sebastian demanded.

Burt looked at him hesitantly. "He seems to have lost a great chunk of his memory."

"How big a chunk?" Sebastian asked slowly.

Burt took a deep breath. "About ten years. Still thinks he's 18."

Sebastian felt as if someone had punched him in the gut. "You mean he – he doesn't remember _at all_?"

Burt's answer was interrupted by Doctor Hendricks walking out. She gave them all a brief smile before saying, "He's asking for Blaine."

Sebastian felt tears welling up in his eyes, hot and stinging. Blaine met his gaze looking panicked and slightly guilty but he walked past the doctor into the room where Kurt was waiting for him. Sebastian was vaguely aware of Burt's hand on his arm and the doctor explaining how memory loss was sometimes common amongst head injury victims but all Sebastian could think of was Kurt inside the hospital room. A Kurt who probably didn't even care that Sebastian was standing outside desperate to see him, a Kurt who still thought he was eighteen, at the peak of his love for Blaine and resentment for Sebastian.

"Mr. Smythe, I know this is hard but -"

"You're fucking right it's hard!" Sebastian snapped, his whole body shaking. "My husband just had ten years of his memory wiped."

"Mr. Smythe, please. This is a hospital. You need to -"

"Don't tell me what I _need_ to do -"

"Sebastian, take a deep breath, son." Burt said, tightening his grip on Sebastian's arm. Sebastian looked at him and saw the sympathy and understanding in his eyes. He knew. Burt knew exactly what this situation meant for Sebastian.

"Kurt seems stable for the time being, we're going to run some tests and keep him here for maybe a night or two more just to make sure everything's fine." Doctor Hendricks said once Sebastian had taken three shaky breaths. "The memory loss is by no means permanent," she said gently looking straight at Sebastian. "There's more than a ninety five percent chance that he'll recover his memories over time. You just need to find the right prompt. But until then, try and take things slowly. It can be overwhelming to find out that you've missed ten years of your life. It's hard for the families but it's equally hard, if not more, for the patient."

Sebastian nodded, lips pressed together. "Can I go see him?" he asked, forcing his voice to remain steady.

"Of course, just remember to be gentle."

Sebastian frowned. "By gentle you mean..." he trailed off, narrowing his eyes when Burt and Doctor Hendricks exchanged a look. "Great." Sebastian said, shaking his head and fighting back more tears. "Really great. So now I'm not even allowed to tell him that I'm his husband?"

"All the doctor means here, kid is that dropping such a big bomb on Kurt isn't really the smartest thing to do right now." Burt said. "Just, take it slow for the moment."

Sebastian closed his eyes and took another deep breath. He could stand here and keep arguing but he desperately wanted to do was see Kurt. "Fine," he said. "Whatever."

The second his hand closed on the doorknob of Kurt's room, his heart started beating wildly in his chest. Neither of the room's occupants noticed him enter and Sebastian took advantage of the fact to just take in the sight of Kurt. (_Alive. He's alive. He's alright._)

Kurt and Blaine's hands were twined together on the bed between them. Any other time, Sebastian wouldn't have thought about it twice, he was so used to their level of physical comfort with each other. But knowing that right now, Kurt in his mind was madly in love with Blaine, the gesture felt like a punch to Sebastian's heart.

Kurt finally caught sight of him standing there and frowned. "Sebastian?" The sound of Kurt taking his name after so long almost broke him right then and there but Sebastian forced himself to remain calm for Kurt's sake.

Blaine turned around at the mention of his name and Sebastian noticed how he discreetly pulled his hand away from Kurt's.

"What are you doing here?" Kurt asked.

"I'm here to see you, idiot." Sebastian replied.

"Why would you care about -" Kurt paused, "Wait. Did you have anything to do with my accident?"

"What, no." Sebastian said, walking up to stand beside where Blaine was sitting. "Why would you think that?"

"What other reason would you have to come see me?"

How about because you're my husband? Because we've been together for seven years? Because we've been married for two?

Sebastian swallowed the lump in his throat. "In the future - _god_ that sounds stupid," he said, his body starting to quiver again. He rubbed his forehead with his palm, catching the cold sweat beading there before he forced a smile on his face. "We don't hate each other as much as we used to."

"I'm going to go call Rachel." Blaine said suddenly, standing up. "I couldn't get through to her last time I tried. She'll want to know Kurt's awake."

Sebastian frowned. Rachel already knew. She had called him minutes after Burt had and said she was so sorry she couldn't get out of rehearsals to come to the hospital immediately but she would be there as soon as they were over. There was no way Blaine didn't know that. Sebastian couldn't stop a small, grateful smile from spreading across his face when he realized Blaine was probably using the excuse to give him and Kurt some time alone.

"Wait, no. Don't go." Kurt said, grabbing Blaine's wrist. Blaine hesitated but gently pulled himself free of Kurt's grip. "I'll be just a second," he said softly.

Sebastian waited until the door shut behind Blaine to take his vacated seat next to the bed. Kurt was looking at him curiously. "How are you feeling?" he asked, resisting the urge to reach out and take Kurt's hand like Blaine had.

"Confused." Kurt said. "So we're what, we're friends?"

"That's one way of putting it," Sebastian said, unable to hide the sadness in his voice.

"Wow," Kurt breathed. "How did that happen?"

"Funny story, actually." Sebastian said with a small grin.

"The last I remember of you is after you'd assaulted Blaine with that rock salt slushie. We're decidedly not friends. Or at least... we weren't. I don't know I -" Kurt dropped his head into his hands and let out a frustrated huff. "Ugh, I can't remember anything."

"Don't pressure yourself too much." Sebastian said. He didn't even realize he was reaching for Kurt's hand until his palm was draped over the backs of Kurt's fingers. Kurt tensed and immediately pulled his hand away. Sebastian tried to stop the hurt from showing on his face.  
"Can you please send my dad in?" Kurt asked, not meeting Sebastian's gaze.

Sebastian stood up and nodded, ignoring the sinking feeling inside him. "Yeah. Yeah, sure."

Sebastian stayed at the hospital while the doctors ran their tests. He took a seat at the far end of the waiting room and listened to Blaine apologize over and over until Sebastian finally snapped and told him to shut up; it wasn't his fault that Kurt had lost his memory and that he was still helplessly in love with Blaine.

He kept twisting the wedding band on his finger, as if twisting it enough would turn the clocks in Kurt's mind back to the current time and make him remember everything.

It was cruel joke. All of it. That Kurt would forget the precise years where he and Sebastian had developed a close friendship, fell in love and decided to stay together other until death do them part. That he would rewind back to a time where Sebastian meant nothing to him, when he was just an irritant in his path. When their interactions were filled with nothing but insults flinging back and forth.

Sebastian wasn't aware that he was crying, not until he felt a hand on his shaking back and looked up to see Blaine's looking at him with glassy eyes.

Sebastian didn't want to be around him at the moment, couldn't bear to look at him without thinking of how Kurt saw him. But he couldn't help himself from leaning against him either. He lay his head on Blaine's shoulder and let his tears continue to fall silently.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 :

Burt came out after a while and told Blaine that Kurt was asking if he was around again. Blaine gave Sebastian another guilty look (he was starting to get really irritated by them) before he left. Sebastian didn't miss the way his steps were brisk, impatient to see his best friend. If Sebastian hadn't been forced to stay in the waiting room with a cup of the hospital's cheap coffee, he would have smiled at him, teased him until Blaine blushed and told him to shut up.

"How's he doing?" Sebastian asked as Burt sat down beside him. He looked tired, his stubble flecked with specks of white and his eyes watery either from crying or lack of sleep.

"He's fine, still a little woozy from the meds. Had a lot of questions. Told him I would answer all of them once the doctor finished their stupid tests."

"Did he ask about me?" Sebastian asked in a hopeful voice.

Burt gave him a sympathetic look. "He asked me if you two becoming friends was the weirdest thing to happen to him in ten years."

Sebastian smiled a little, "What did you say?"

"No," Burt said with a small grin. "Wait till he finds out you're married."

Sebastian's shoulders slumped and he put his head in his hands. "I can't believe he doesn't remember."

"I gotta give it to you, you're handling this better than I would under the same circumstances." Burt said. "I can't imagine how badly you must want to be with him right now."

Sebastian was quiet for a moment. He was right; nobody could imagine the pain Sebastian was going through. It was nothing short of torture watching how people Kurt had worked with for barely six months got to see him while Sebastian was forced to sit in the waiting room because he couldn't confuse Kurt with their 'friendship' while he was still coming to terms with his current situation.

"Break things down slowly," Doctor Hendricks had said. "Preferably have someone he trusts answer his question," she had looked at Sebastian with a smile at the words. A smile that Sebastian hadn't returned because the last person Kurt had trusted at eighteen had been him. Doctor Hendricks knew Sebastian was Kurt's husband, she didn't know that he had also been the one person Kurt had hated with a fierce passion at one point in his life. The same point he was stuck in at the moment. All she was concerned with was that they didn't freak Kurt out with the news that he was married when really, it was more the fact that he was married to _Sebastian_ that would freak him out more than anything.

"Sebastian?" Burt laid a hand on Sebastian's back like Blaine had and Sebastian sat up, unable to stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks when he looked at his father in law.

"He's _my husband_, Burt. I was the one they called after the accident, I was the one who held his hand every night and begged him to come back to me. _I_ should be the one he asks for not -" Not Blaine. Sebastian took a shuddering breath. "I feel like I saw him more when he was unconscious."

Sebastian felt guilt wash through him in waves when a voice in his head said that he would rather have Kurt unconscious if that meant he got to see him again, touch him again, whisper everything he would only ever tell Kurt.

Burt came out after a while and told Blaine that Kurt was asking if he was around again. Blaine gave Sebastian another guilty look (he was starting to get really irritated by them) before he left. Sebastian didn't miss the way his steps were brisk, impatient to see his best friend. If Sebastian hadn't been forced to stay in the waiting room with a cup of the hospital's cheap coffee, he would have smiled at him, teased him until Blaine blushed and told him to shut up.

"How's he doing?" Sebastian asked as Burt sat down beside him. He looked tired, his stubble flecked with specks of white and his eyes watery either from crying or lack of sleep.

"He's fine, still a little woozy from the meds. Had a lot of questions. Told him I would answer all of them once the doctor finished their stupid tests."

"Did he ask about me?" Sebastian asked in a hopeful voice.

Burt gave him a sympathetic look. "He asked me if you two becoming friends was the weirdest thing to happen to him in ten years."

Sebastian smiled a little, "What did you say?"

"No," Burt said with a small grin. "Wait till he finds out you're married."

Sebastian's shoulders slumped and he put his head in his hands. "I can't believe he doesn't remember."

"I gotta give it to you, you're handling this better than I would under the same circumstances." Burt said. "I can't imagine how badly you must want to be with him right now."

Sebastian was quiet for a moment. He was right; nobody could imagine the pain Sebastian was going through. It was nothing short of torture watching how people Kurt had worked with for barely six months got to see him while Sebastian was forced to sit in the waiting room because he couldn't confuse Kurt with their 'friendship' while he was still coming to terms with his current situation.

"Break things down slowly," Doctor Hendricks had said. "Preferably have someone he trusts answer his question," she had looked at Sebastian with a smile at the words. A smile that Sebastian hadn't returned because the last person Kurt had trusted at eighteen had been him. Doctor Hendricks knew Sebastian was Kurt's husband, she didn't know that he had also been the one person Kurt had hated with a fierce passion at one point in his life. The same point he was stuck in at the moment. All she was concerned with was that they didn't freak Kurt out with the news that he was married when really, it was more the fact that he was married to _Sebastian_ that would freak him out more than anything.

"Sebastian?" Burt laid a hand on Sebastian's back like Blaine had and Sebastian sat up, unable to stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks when he looked at his father in law.

"He's _my husband_, Burt. I was the one they called after the accident, I was the one who held his hand every night and begged him to come back to me. _I_ should be the one he asks for not -" Not Blaine. Sebastian took a shuddering breath. "I feel like I saw him more when he was unconscious."

Sebastian felt guilt wash through him in waves when a voice in his head said that he would rather have Kurt unconscious if that meant he got to see him again, touch him again, whisper everything he would only ever tell Kurt.

Blaine came out of Kurt's room fifteen minutes before the visiting hours ended. "Come on," he said to Sebastian. "I'm taking you home."

"What? No. I'm family. I'm staying."

"Sebastian, you're exhausted and -" Blaine hesitated.

"And Kurt couldn't care less if I stayed, right?" Sebastian asked in a bitter voice. "So might as well go home and have a good night's sleep while my husband goes on believing that I'm still the jerk I was in high school who just happens to be a friend now."

Blaine sighed and sat down next to Sebastian. "Burt's going to talk to him tonight," he said. "Once he's got the basics down, it'll be easier for him to process everything else."

"I know Blaine, I heard the doctor." Sebastian knew he was being kind of a bastard to Blaine right now but he couldn't bring himself to care. When he looked back up at Blaine and saw that there was only understanding in his gaze, he sighed. "I'm sorry," he said, shaking his head. "I shouldn't -"

"You are absolutely mad if you think you have to apologize to me right now," Blaine said. "If you want to stay the night, I'm not going to stop you. But as your friend who loves and cares about you, I'm asking you to let me take you home. Stressing and exhausting yourself more than you already have isn't going to help you. Or Kurt."

Sebastian nodded. "You're right," he said. "I just wish I could see him one more time before we left." He looked at the doors leading down to Kurt's room with longing, missing the way Blaine smiled.

"You left your jacket in Kurt's room earlier," he said.

"I wasn't wearing a jacket." Sebastian said.

"You were." Blaine insisted. Sebastian frowned at him, irritation bubbling inside of him again at Blaine's smile. Why the hell was he smiling – oh.

"_Oh_," Sebastian said, eyes wide and a grin spreading across his face. "Blaine Anderson, I could kiss you right now."

Kurt was alone when Sebastian entered his room. He looked up expectantly when he entered but frowned when he saw it was Sebastian. "What are you still doing here?" he asked.

"I forgot my jacket," Sebastian said, looking around the room and spotting the jacket draped over the foot of Kurt's bed.

Kurt didn't seem to recall that Sebastian hadn't been wearing a jacket because he just said "Oh."

Sebastian moved towards the bed slowly, wanting to draw this out as long as he could. "Feeling any better?" he asked.

Kurt shrugged. "I feel fine. Tired but fine. They're not telling me anything." His mouth twisted the way it did when he was annoyed. Sebastian wanted to bundle him up in a hug that he reserved only for Kurt.

"What do you know so far?" he asked instead.

"I'm twenty eight, living in New York City and recovering from a car accident that left me in a coma for seven weeks and wiped out ten years from my memory."

"Wow. So much information. Are you sure you can handle all of it?" Sebastian asked, grinning when he saw Kurt roll his eyes in agreement.

"Every time I asked them something more specific they'd just say that I was pushing myself too hard. It's not like I'm any less pressured _not_ knowing anything about my life."

"Well what do you want to know?" Sebastian asked. "Maybe I can help."  
Kurt looked at him with a frown. "Don't you have to leave? Visiting hours have ended."

"I can spare a few minutes." Sebastian said.

"Well I definitely want to know how the hell we became friends. I'm still having a hard time believing that it's actually a possibility." Kurt said, shaking his head.

Sebastian smiled. "I'll tell you. But you can't push me for details. Deal?"

Kurt rolled his eyes but he was obviously desperate for any scrap of information because he said "Deal."

Sebastian sat down in the vacant chair and Kurt angled his body towards him, face expectant. "There was a coffee shop near my campus where I used to hang out," he started. "It was close to where you were interning at the time and we kept bumping into each other a lot."

"Seriously? A coffee shop?" Kurt asked, raising an eyebrow. "As if stalking me at the Lima Bean wasn't enough -"

"Hey, I was at this shop first." Sebastian said with a grin. "Anyway, you were new to the city and going through some trouble at the time."

"What trouble?"

"No pushing for details, remember?"

Kurt huffed. "Fine. But I have another question."

"Okay."

"When exactly did you stop being a jerk and why did we forgive you after what you did to Blaine?"

"I never stopped being a jerk; you just learned to love me despite it." Sebastian said without thinking. He caught himself when Kurt frowned, looking uncomfortable. "Um. I mean. I apologized, obviously. There were certain events that took place that made me re-evaluate a lot of things and yeah – we put the slushie incident behind us."

"It's not something you can just forget about." Kurt said, his face suddenly dark.

Sebastian felt his stomach churn at the turn of events. "I told you, I apologized."

"And we forgave you just like that?" Kurt asked with a raised eyebrow.

"It was a slow process but yes, you did. We weren't in touch during college and when you came to New York it was something like a fresh start for us. You never let me forget about the slushie though and we still insulted each other a lot but ... yeah."

Kurt looked confused. "Wait, you said I met you when I first came to New York but that we weren't in touch during college. Did I not go to college in New York?"

Sebastian hesitated. "Details," he said.

"No, you have to tell me!" Kurt said when Sebastian stood up. "Nobody is telling me anything!"

Sebastian looked down at him, his heart aching. "They'll tell you soon enough," he said.

Kurt crossed his arms and pressed his lips together, deep in thought.

Sebastian picked up the jacket from the foot of Kurt's bed and lingered for a moment longer, waiting for Kurt to say something. When he didn't, Sebastian sighed and started towards the door. He stopped and turned back to see Kurt staring at the ceiling.

"Goodnight Kurt," he said in a quiet voice.

Kurt didn't respond, just like he hadn't for every night the past seven weeks. Nothing new.


	3. Chapter 3

A little note: Kurt was in a coma for seven DAYS, not weeks. I'm sorry about that little slip. I meant to correct it. Also, please forgive me for any medical inaccuracies, I'm trying to keep things fairly realistic but I'm also taking some artistic licences. Anyway, enjoy this part! 

Chapter 3 : 

Burt had left Kurt's room only to grab some food for himself. He ran into Sebastian on the way back and though the boy tried to wipe his face the second he saw Burt, Burt still caught the red in his eyes and the tear tracks on his cheeks.

"Hey," Sebastian said in a relatively steady voice when they stopped in front of each other. "I just went back to get my jacket and..." he trailed off when he saw that Burt was grinning.

"You don't have to lie to me, kid."

Sebastian sighed and returned Burt's grin with a small one of his own. "I just wanted to see him before I left." he admitted.

"You're going home?"

"Blaine's insisting." Sebastian said with a look that told Burt he wasn't fond of the idea. "I really don't mind spending the night in the waiting room. I could sneak in after he's asleep and sit with him until morning...I'd be gone before he woke up."

Burt's heart ached for him. He stepped forward and clapped Sebastian on the shoulder. "Go home for tonight, buddy." he said. "You'll be back in the morning and then we'll see if Kurt's ready to hear more about you two."

"Speaking of which," Sebastian said, "I may have let a few important details slip." Burt pulled his hand away from Sebastian's shoulder and raised his eyebrows, waiting. "He asked about how we became friends. I tried to keep it brief but he put the pieces together and figured out he wasn't in New York for college."

"That it?" Burt asked.

"Yeah, that's about it."

Burt nodded. "I was going to talk to him right now and I expect he would have found out anyway so it's not a big deal."

"I just thought I'd tell you," Sebastian said. His phone started ringing then and Sebastian hurried to reject the call before the noise of the ringtone caused any complaints. "It's Blaine," he said after glancing at the caller id. "He's probably waiting for me downstairs."

"Go on, don't keep him waiting." Burt said, stepping aside. "And try to get some rest, kid. You look like you need it."

Kurt was staring up at the ceiling when Burt entered his room. "Hey kiddo," he said, drawing up the chair and taking a seat. "This room smells like a fricking flower shop," he said, wrinkling his nose at the overpowering sweet smell.

"Dad," Kurt said, turning his face to look at his father. "When are you going to start telling me things?"

"Right about now, actually." Burt said.

"Really?" Kurt asked, sitting up. The way his face lit up with a smile made Burt's heart feel light and he nodded, giving Kurt a wide smile of his own.

"But we have a few rules."

"Don't tell me I can't ask for details." Kurt said, rolling his eyes.

"You can," Burt said. "But I get to decide which ones to give. If I think a question has an answer that's too complicated for you to comprehend right now, I'm gonna say 'next question' and that's going to be that for the moment, we clear?"  
Kurt nodded. "Okay."

"Now," Burt said, settling back in his chair and lacing his fingers over his stomach. "Ask away."

Kurt was silent for a second and Burt could see the questions swimming in his brain. It must have been hard to choose one question when you had ten years of catching up to do. Burt waited with patience until Kurt asked what Burt knew he was going to ask the moment Sebastian told him he'd let it slip that Kurt hadn't gone to college in the city.

"Did I get rejected from NYADA?" he asked in a quiet voice.

Burt sighed, "Yes." He tried not to let the way Kurt's face crumpled get to him and swallowed before he continued. "You didn't make the final cut."

"Did Rachel?"

"Let's focus on you here, buddy."

Kurt ignored him and continued to press. "Did she? She mentioned something about rehearsals when she was here." Kurt said, looking over at the flowers she had brought with her. "She was too hysterical for me to really understand anything."

Burt sighed. "Fine. Yes, Rachel got in."

"And I didn't," Kurt said, looking down at where his hands were twined in his lap.

"You dealt with the rejection with so much maturity," Burt said. "I was so proud of you."

"What did I do instead?" Kurt asked. "Am I still performing?"

"Not professionally." Burt said, "There some external fashion design program being offered at OSU that year and they were still looking for applicants around the time you got rejected from NYADA. You got your degree from there and moved to New York after graduation. It wasn't exactly what you'd planned but you were happy and you ended up coming to New York in the end anyway."

Kurt nodded. "So what do I do? Am I a designer?"

"You've been working at some fancy French label for the past couple of years."

The fancy French label was actually Nicole Smythe's, Sebastian's mother. She had opened her boutique in New York four years ago and asked Kurt to help her out with it. The designs were hers but Kurt got the chance to give a lot of his own input and the two of them were already in talks about creating Kurt's own line or making a joint venture.

Burt didn't give Kurt these details, but he did say "You're in the process of starting your own clothing line."

Kurt's eyes grew huge. "Really?"

"Mmmhm. I'm telling ya, NYADA's crying over not accepting you."

Kurt grinned and settled further back against his pillows. "I...I like the sound of that."

Burt felt a mix of confusing emotions twist in his stomach. He loved the smile on Kurt's lips but his son wasn't thinking about the repercussions of the accident at the moment, he was too caught up in his desire to figure out the events of the past. He didn't know just how different his life was from what he had planned. How everything was far from the dream that he was imagining it to be. No less perfect, but not something that he would be able to come to terms with and appreciate immediately once he understood everything.

Maybe it was the drugs that were keeping him from freaking out properly but Burt knew that point would come soon enough. Until it did though, he was going to try his best to warm Kurt up to how his life was at the moment.

"This is going to sound stupid but – do we win Nationals this year? Or..._did_ we win?" Kurt corrected, closing his eyes and shaking his head as if to get rid of a bug.

"You did," Burt said with a grin. "I was there. You were fantastic."

Kurt's face brightened and he clapped his hands. "What did we place?"

"Second," Burt said.

"Who placed first?"

"Some nutheads, I dunno." Burt said. "I just cared about my son."

Kurt grinned. "Where do I live?"

"You'll see when we get there. In the city, needless to say."

"Do I live alone?"

"No."

"Do I live with Blaine?" Kurt asked, a blush creeping up on his face.

"No," Burt said, not missing the way Kurt's face fell.

"Oh. Okay." He said a little sadly. "So I have a flatmate?"

"Yes. Sort of."

"Anyone I know? Well I mean – obviously I know them but do I know them _now_?"

"Next question," was all Burt said in reply.

Kurt frowned but didn't linger on it too much and moved on to ask other things that were on his mind. Burt patiently answered every question as best as he could from the silly ones, to the more serious ones. Kurt's eyes began to droop half an hour into their little talk and Burt helped him settle into a more comfortable position for sleep.

Even though Kurt insisted that he was awake enough to talk, he drifted off mid sentence while asking about the color scheme he'd used in his apartment. Burt watched him snuffle in his sleep with a fond smile before he leaned over the bed to kiss his forehead and whisper "I'm so glad you're okay, son."

"Mmpfh," was all Burt got in response but it was enough.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 :

Kurt's morning consisted of nurses taking his blood pressure and Doctor Hendricks checking up on him and telling him that he would have to see a therapist later that and if things continued to look as good as they did, he'd be able to go home by tonight. Breakfast was bland and tasteless and the morning only started to look up when Blaine arrived.

"Hi," he greeted with a bright smile.

Kurt pushed the rest of his breakfast tray away and grinned at Blaine. "Hi."

Burt was stood up and looked at Blaine with a silent question that Kurt did not understand. Whatever it was, Blaine nodded and jerked his head towards the door. Burt glanced back at Kurt, "You okay? I'm going to go get some coffee for myself."

"Sure," Kurt said, feeling uncomfortable about the silent exchange but he was glad to get some time alone with Blaine.

"Hi," Blaine said again when he sat down next to Kurt's bed. "How're you feeling?"

"Like I've forgotten everything all over again," Kurt said with a small laugh. "All of yesterday is a blur at best. But I guess I'm not as clueless as I was before."

"Mm, Burt must have filled you in." Blaine said with a smile but he looked hesitant for some reason.

Kurt dismissed the look for the moment and nodded. "He didn't tell me everything but I've got the basics; college, job, where I live. Although – I don't think he mentioned who I lived with." Kurt racked his brains in case the piece of information had slipped his mind sometime during his sleep.

"Well you'll meet him soon enough." Blaine said. "He'll be coming by later."

"I was wondering about that," Kurt admitted. "Your roommate wakes up from a coma, the least you could do is go and visit him, right?"

Blaine was silent and Kurt took the opportunity to study his face. Now that he felt more awake and aware than he had yesterday, he could look at Blaine closely and see how exactly the years had changed him. He'd grown into his body in the best ways possible. His chest and arms were broader than Kurt remembered, the muscles accentuated by the simple gray t-shirt he wore over dark jeans, a plainer ensemble than what Kurt remembered but it looked no less perfect on him.

Kurt's favorite part about this Blaine though, was his hair – it was loose and curly but somehow managed to not turn into the untamed mess it had back in high school whenever Blaine didn't gel it down. The look suited him.

He hadn't realized how hard he'd been staring until Blaine broke the silence with a slightly embarrassed, "What?"

His cheeks flushed, Kurt shook his head quickly and said, "Nothing, sorry. I was appreciating how well the years have treated you."

Blaine bit his lip and returned Kurt's tentative smile but he still looked uncomfortable. Whether it was because of embarrassment or something else, Kurt couldn't tell but it was really starting to bother him. "Something wrong?" he asked.

"Kurt, I think there's something you should know," Blaine said in a low voice.

Something akin to worry started to churn inside Kurt's stomach but he nodded and said, "Okay."

There was a pause where Blaine just stared at him, Kurt's nerves growing with every second until Blaine finally took a deep breath and said, "We're not together anymore."

For a moment neither of them said anything. Kurt blinked and Blaine held his breath as his words settled around them, sinking into Kurt's reality - _this_ reality.

"W-what?" he managed to ask finally.

"We broke up in college," Blaine said in a gentle voice. "It was mutual."

Kurt took a few shaky breaths and looked away from Blaine's eyes. He felt stupid now for not once thinking about how ten years might have changed things between them. Breaking up just hadn't seemed like a possibility. Blaine had been acting just as Kurt would have expected him to act in the situation except now that he thought about it, he wondered how he hadn't found it weird how Blaine hadn't said a single cheesy romantic thing to him since he'd woken up.

Tears prickled behind his eyes. Kurt blinked them away, not wanting Blaine to see. "Are you seeing someone else?" he asked.

"Not right now, no." Blaine said. Another pause followed and then, "We're still best friends, Kurt. Nothing's changed that. Nothing ever will." He reached out to touch Kurt's hand but unlike all the other times Kurt had let Blaine take it, he pulled it away.

"I – I think you should leave, Blaine." Kurt said quietly.  
Blaine stood up and Kurt could feel his gaze on him for a moment before he said, "I'm sorry."

"I am too," Kurt said, not looking at him.

"I'll come by later?" it was phrased as a question, as if Blaine was unsure whether or not Kurt would want him there.

Kurt finally looked up at the familiar, warm face of this boy who he was still achingly in love with. His first boyfriend, his first love, still his best friend. Always his best friend.

He smiled. "Yeah. Okay."

"Why are you here again?" was the first thing Kurt asked when Sebastian entered his room.

"I wanted to check up on you," Sebastian said. "I brought flowers," he grinned and held up the selection he'd chosen himself.

Kurt didn't look flattered, just irritated. "Look, I appreciate the gesture and I know you said we were friends but this really isn't a good time and I don't want to see you right now."

Sebastian didn't flinch at the harsh words; he had spent a sleepless night in anticipation of seeing Kurt again in the morning and he couldn't leave in two seconds, his patience had been tested enough this past week.

"How are you feeling?" he asked much to Kurt's annoyance.

"Not a good time." Kurt repeated.

"It's a simple question," Sebastian said. "A one word answer will do." _Anything will do_.

"Sebastian, please leave." Kurt said.

"What's wrong?" Sebastian tried again. He knew what was wrong, he and Blaine had spent the night talking about how to break things to Kurt and Sebastian knew exactly why Kurt was upset but he couldn't give Kurt leisure time to come to terms with his and Blaine's break up. Doctor Hendricks had met him outside and said that Kurt would be cleared to go home by tonight; there was no way Sebastian could keep the fact that they lived together hidden for much longer. So he stepped closer to the bed and prompted again. "You can tell me."

"You're the last person I want to talk to about this," Kurt said.

"Why's that?" Sebastian asked, taking a seat despite the frustrated way Kurt grit his teeth. "You had no problem talking to me yesterday."

"I know it's hard for you," Kurt said looking at him with narrow eyes. "But I just woke up with ten years of my memories wiped. The least you could do is not act like a jerk."

"I'm not acting like a jerk. I'm just asking you a question. I want to help."

"Well you can't." Kurt said with a stubborn jut of his chin. "And I want you to leave so please leave." Sebastian didn't budge from his position. "Sebastian. Leave."

"No."

"Why?"

"Because I just got here."

Kurt stared at him long and hard for a moment before he sighed and gave up. "I liked you better when I was drugged," he said, looking away.

"Well you should learn to like me sober," Sebastian said, sitting up in his chair. "Because we're going to be spending a lot of time together."

Kurt, despite clearly not wanting to, turned his head to fix him with a curious stare. "Why?"

Sebastian gave him a smile, ready with his explanation for the moment. "Because we're flatmates."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 :

Kurt remained in a state of disbelief for the rest of the morning. He refused to talk to Sebastian; still hell bent on believing it was all one big joke. Only when Burt shook his head and said that it wasn't a lie, did Kurt finally seemed to accept that he was in fact, living with Sebastian Smythe.

"It's not that bad. I promise," Sebastian said. "We get along fine. Better than fine."

"Excuse me if I find that hard to believe," Kurt snapped.

"It's a beautiful apartment." Sebastian continued, ignoring him. "Close to Central Park, tons of natural lighting -" Kurt wasn't even looking at him. He had his arms crossed over his chest and was staring at the opposite wall but Sebastian knew he was listening. "You had most of the control over decorating," he said. "I was just there to carry the paint brushes and hold up samples for you to -"

"Stop." Kurt said suddenly.

"Stop what?"

"Stop making it sound like -" Kurt looked at him, frustrated. "Like it's something we did _together_."

"It is," Sebastian said with a frown. "What, you think we just happened to move into the same apartment that magically furnished itself?"

"Yes," Kurt said with another stubborn jut of his chin. "That is exactly what I'd like to think. And you're not helping."

Sebastian couldn't help but smile a little. "Oh, Kurt."

"No. Don't _oh Kurt_ me, I am going to think whatever I want in order to come to terms with this disturbing piece of news and you are going to stay out my way and let me, understood?"

Sebastian stared at him. "You expect that to work?"

"Yes."

"Kurt, it's not going to work."

"I will make it work."

_Not when you find out we're married_.

Sebastian took care of most of the paperwork when Kurt was finally discharged. Blaine had promised to come by later but he'd been called in by his boss for an emergency meeting with the distributors of one of their records and so it was just Sebastian and Burt. Kurt frowned when he saw Sebastian signing papers on his way to the elevator but didn't say a word to him all the way down to the car.

He'd changed into a pair of black jeans and a red long sleeved shirt that Sebastian had brought for him – he'd been too busy resolutely ignoring Sebastian's presence and still trying to build whatever fantasy he wanted to in his head about their living arrangements to comment on the plainness of Sebastian's choice of clothes. Even after all these years, Sebastian had no clue how to navigate Kurt's wardrobe. _Blaine_ did a better job than him. Sebastian could appreciate fashion, sure. But normal fashion and Kurt-fashion were two different things in his mind.

"Why do you have a car in New York City?" Kurt asked with a huff as he got into the passenger seat.

"Because the public transport system is filthy." Sebastian said. "And because I need it for special occasions."

The ride home was silent. Kurt stared out of his window at the city in all her late afternoon glory. Even though there were probably a million thoughts running through his head at the moment, Kurt still had a small, uncontrollable grin on his face. Sebastian wanted to lean over the gearshift and kiss the corner of it but he kept his eyes on the road.

Their apartment was on the seventeenth floor. Kurt grew tenser with every number that lit up over the elevator, taking them closer to his new home. Sebastian wasn't in much of a better position beside him. This was it. There was no way he could hide their marriage once they walked through the front door, one of the first things Kurt was bound to see was the framed photograph of them at their wedding with both their families.

Kurt's wedding band felt heavy in Sebastian's pocket; he hadn't returned it with the rest of Kurt's possessions that had been found on him after the accident. He wanted to keep it with him until Kurt was ready to have it back which Sebastian was certain wouldn't be for a while.

When the bell dinged over them and the elevator doors slid open, Burt clapped both of them on the back with a hand. "Ready to see if your house is all you dreamed of?" he asked Kurt.

Kurt looked at Sebastian with narrowed eyes and Sebastian could almost _hear_ him saying _it can't be a dream if I'm stuck living with you_ but al he said was, "I guess."

Sebastian's hand shook a little as he turned the key in the lock. "Welcome home," he said to Kurt with a tentative grin when the door finally clicked open. He stepped aside and watched Kurt's face as he entered the apartment, his face completely blank of any emotion.

Kurt's gaze swept over the apartment in silence; from the entranceway to the lounge and what little you could make of the kitchen from here to the cut of the hallway where it lead to the bedrooms before coming to rest back on Sebastian who was waiting with bated breath.

"Well?" he asked.

"It's...not as bad as I expected." Kurt admitted, stepping further inside.

"Not as bad as y– even after everything I told you about how amazing it was?" Sebastian asked as Burt chuckled.

"Obviously, I never believed you." Kurt said coolly, looking around with more care. His face was less emotionless now; he obviously liked the place if the shine in his eyes and his parted lips were anything to go by. It took a moment for Sebastian to realize why Kurt wasn't freaking out like he'd expected – it was because he hadn't bothered to look at the pictures on the walls yet.

It was as if Kurt had read his mind because he stopped in front of a wall of framed photographs. He was looking at was a vertical frame, divided into three parts. The pictures were in quick succession like something out of a photo booth at the mall. The first was a black and white close up of Kurt and Sebastian with their arms around each other's shoulders, grinning at the camera. The second was in color, the same close up but with Sebastian bent down to kiss Kurt's cheek and the last one was black and white again with both of them laughing with their eyes shut and mouths open in frozen shouts of glee.

They were in their wedding suits.

"Who – who's wedding was this?" Kurt asked, turning around to look at his father and Sebastian with confusion and a hint of panic.

Sebastian didn't know whether to be glad or upset that Kurt had chosen to look at the more subtle of their wedding photos. He guessed they could be taken as pictures of them _at_ a wedding instead of pictures of _their_wedding.

"Oh my god," Kurt breathed suddenly. "We're not just friends, are we?"

Sebastian shook his head. "Kurt we're -"

"Don't tell me we're -"

"- married."

Kurt's eyes widened and Burt sucked in a deep breath. "I ... I was going to say dating," he said in a shocked whisper.

Sebastian's heart started to pound when the color drained from Kurt's face. "I'm sorry," he said quickly. "But you were going to find out soon enough and I -"

"Oh my god," Kurt breathed, lifting his eyes back to the photographs. His gaze flickered from one picture to another so fast, Sebastian wondered if he was even taking any of it in. "_Oh my god,_."

"Kurt-"

"This is some kind of joke, isn't it? "Kurt said, rounding on his father. "Dad, please tell me you guys are joking."

"We'd never joke about something as serious as this," Burt said gently. "Why don't you take a deep breath and -"

"No." Kurt said, shaking his head. "No. No. No. This is not happening." Tears were starting to gather in his eyes, clinging to the corner of his lashes. "Dad, _please_." Sebastian didn't know what he was asking for but he felt his own tears start to burn his eyes. He stepped forward and touched Kurt's arm but Kurt ripped it out of his grip. "Don't touch me!"

"Kurt, please calm down," Sebastian said. "I can explain."

"I can't calm down!" he said, his voice shaking. "I am _married_. To. You." His face was full of horror, of disgust and hurt as if the there was no fate worse than being married to Sebastian.

Sebastian felt the tears break free of his eyes and start sliding down his cheeks. Burt stepped forward then, putting an arm around Kurt's shoulder and steering him towards the couch. "Sebastian, get him a glass of water," he called over his shoulder.

Sebastian did as he was told. Kurt still wouldn't look at him but he took the water and gulped it down, his hands still shaking. "You okay?" Burt asked when Kurt placed the now empty glass on the coffee table.

"No," Kurt said in a small voice. "No, I'm not." Sebastian felt his heart seize painfully. He wished he could have been in Burt's place right now with his arms around Kurt, wished that he could have held him against his chest, pressed at kiss to his head and told him that everything would be fine.

"Kurt," he said instead, staying where he was. "I know this is hard."

"You think?" Kurt asked, glaring up at him through his tears.

"I _know_," Sebastian said, swallowing thickly. "My husband doesn't remember me. You think that's easy for me?"

Kurt winced at the term 'husband'. "I'm not your husband."

It hurt more than anything Sebastian could have ever imagined. "Don't – don't say that."

"I'm not." Kurt said again. "I'm not married. I don't have a degree in fashion design from OSU or my own clothing line and Blaine and I never broke up."

Burt and Sebastian looked at each other with identical confused expressions as tears continued to stream down Kurt's face. "Kurt, what are you saying?" Burt asked slowly.

"I'm saying that I was stupid to think that my life before the accident is going to be my life now," Kurt said. "How can I fall back into the same patterns when I'm not the same person I was a week ago?"

"You _are_ the same person," Sebastian said, his voice breaking.

Kurt ignored him. "I was so _stupid_ to believe that it would be easy."

"It's not going to be easy for any of us," Burt said. "But I'm going to be here for you as long as you need me and we'll get through this together."

"How?" Kurt asked. "How are we going to get through this? I'm stuck married to Sebastian Smythe." He looked at Sebastian, "I don't care about what we did over the years, right here, _right now_ you are the _last_ person I would ever consider marrying."

Sebastian knew Kurt was hurt but it didn't lessen the blow of his words. He felt anger start to paint the edges of his hurt. "Well you know what, Kurt?" he said. "I'm really sorry this is so devastating for you but this isn't just about you. You don't get to dismiss the seven years we've been together just because of a block in your memory that you refuse to push away."

"You think I want this?" Kurt asked, standing up and fixing him with a vicious glare. "You think I _want_ to be stuck ten years in the past?"

"I think you do," Sebastian said. "I think you'd rather live in your perfect little fairy tale bubble with Blaine -"

"Don't make this about Blaine-"

"- than face the reality of the fact that you two broke up and that you chose to fall in love with me instead."

"I didn't get to choose!" Kurt said. "I don't have any choice here at all do I?"

"You think I forced you to marry me?" Sebastian asked, his voice no longer near calm. "It takes two people, Kurt!"

"Boys," Burt said standing up. "Calm down."

Kurt was glaring at Sebastian harder than ever. "I'm not the guy you married," he said. "And you're not the sort of guy I would ever marry. There's only one solution I can see here."

"And what's that?" Sebastian asked even though his heart started to pound sickeningly in his chest.

There was a pause where the two of them just stared at each other, chests heaving with the force of their breaths and then Kurt said, "We get a divorce."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 :

The words hung thick in the air around them. Kurt saw the exact point they sunk in for Sebastian because his face seemed to crumple. Something like guilt tugged at Kurt's heart but he was too busy breathing through the spinning in his head to take heed. Sebastian stared at him for a long moment, his mouth opening and closing as if he wanted to say something but didn't know how. Another second of silence passed before his gaze flickered over Kurt's shoulder to Burt and then he turned around and left without a word, the apartment door banging shut behind him.

Slowly, Kurt turned to look at his dad who was still sitting on the couch. The guilt was making itself known with more force now and Kurt's expression turned sheepish and then defensive when he met his dad's disapproving gaze. "What?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"You know what," Burt said sternly.

Kurt sighed and dropped down on to the couch next to his dad. "Don't tell me you're on his side!"

"It's not about being on sides, Kurt. It's about how much that poor kid has gone through this past week and how you basically ripped the heart outta his chest and threw it at his feet." Kurt bit his lip and wrapped his arms around himself, suddenly cold. Burt continued, his gaze burning hot into the side of Kurt's face. "I watched him sit by your side night and day, holding your hand and babbling nonsense that all sounded like some version of 'please come back'. Imagine his pain when you woke up and didn't even remember him."

Kurt swallowed around the slow building lump in his throat and refused to look at his father. "It's not my fault," he said weakly. "It's not my fault I don't remember."

"I'm not saying it is, kid. But that doesn't give you a right to treat him like that."

Kurt felt fresh tears burn behind his eyes. "It's not fair," he said, shaking his head. "I can't be married to him."

"Well you are."

Kurt finally looked at his father, frowning. "Why are you being like this?" he asked. "Can't you see how this affects me? I don't _want_ to be married, dad. I can't be married. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I haven't been to college yet as far as I'm concerned, even if I have a job, I won't know the first thing about what to do. Being married is something I do _not_ need to deal with on top of everything else at the moment."

Burt's arm was heavy when he draped it over Kurt's shoulder and pulled him against his side. "You think I don't that?" he asked softly. "You have been so great with everything so far, I don't blame you for freaking out about being married. But Kurt, the fact is that you _are_ married. To a pretty great guy – no, don't look at me like that. I've got some of those memories you've locked away, remember? I know how great you two are together even if you don't realize it right now. And every time you say that you would never marry him, you're only putting yourself down."

Kurt frowned, "What do you mean?"

"I mean that you're not stupid Kurt. You were thinking something when you married Sebastian and it sure as hell wasn't how he was a douchebag at eighteen." Kurt was silent for a moment and Burt's arm tightened around his shoulder. "You think my son is stupid enough to go ahead and marry someone if he doesn't truly want to with every fibre of his being?"

Kurt didn't know what to say, he looked away from his dad's gaze at the countless photographs scattered around their apartment, on the walls, on the shelves...a decade worth of happy memories that taunted him from every corner.

"You think getting a divorce is going to solve anything?" Burt continued. "All that's gonna happen is that you're going to get your memories back and realize what a huge ass mistake you made. It's nothing but pain and heartbreak for both of you."

Kurt felt like crying and so he did, he let the tears stream down his cheeks and buried his face in his father's chest. "What am I going to do dad?"

"You'll figure it out," Burt said, holding him tightly. "And like I said, I'll be here to help as long as you need me. But first, you need to stop treating Sebastian like he's doing something wrong by being near you and start treating him at the very least, like a friend. How would you feel if I woke up tomorrow and started denying you were my son?"

That hit him hard and Kurt unconsciously tightened his grip on his dad's shirt. "I feel so lost," he said in an almost childish voice.

Burt rubbed his arm and held him tighter. "I'm here, kid." He said. "And more importantly, _you're_ here. After the accident I thought you'd -" he cut himself off and cleared his throat. "I don't care if you don't get your memories back. I bet you anything you're going to be every bit as fabulous without them."

Kurt sniffled and pressed his cheek hard to his father's shirt before sitting upright and wiping the tears from his face. "I – I'm going to go use the bathroom," he said as he got to his feet.

"You hungry? There's food in the fridge I could heat up for you."  
Kurt nodded and gave his father a small smile. "Thanks dad."

He found the bathroom easily; it was bigger than he had expected and one look at the shower told him it was going to be one of his favorite places in the apartment. It was weird though, to see the mix of products lined up on the sink counter. Kurt took a wild guess over which were his and which belonged to Sebastian. He found himself staring at the toothbrushes and wondering if his was the purple one with the hideous stripes or the equally hideous orange one next to it. It wasn't like it mattered at this point but the trivial question was a good distraction. He eventually came to the conclusion that Sebastian probably used two toothbrushes because his teeth needed just that extra amount of care and that he probably had his own toothbrush hidden somewhere else.

Not knowing why - maybe he expected to have hidden his toothbrush in there? - he opened the tiny wooden cabinet on the wall next to the shower and gasped softly when the first thing he saw was a huge bottle of lube. Instinctively, he shut the cabinet and turned away as if his eyes had been burnt. He splashed some cold water on his face and left the bathroom before he could think anything else of the lube and instead, wandered into the bedroom closest to him.

It was comfortably sized with a double bed framed by two gorgeous side tables, each bearing a small, artistic lamp. The bedspread looked like something Kurt would have picked out – it was a simple pattern but mixed in well with the natural color scheme of the room. As nice as the room was though, Kurt knew it couldn't be his bedroom. It felt too impersonal.

He knew he was right the second he walked through the door of the next room. This one immediately felt _right_. The design was more modern than their guest room, which is what Kurt guessed the other room was for since (and he had another mild panic attack at the thought) he and Sebastian probably slept together. Taking a calming breath and not letting himself think of what he and Sebastian must have done on it, Kurt moved to appreciate the bed, simple and clear cut in its design but no less stylish.

There was a huge abstract painting over the bed but the opposite wall boasted some more personal photographs. Kurt walked over to them and let his eyes scan the shots of him and Sebastian.

There was a rush of sound in his head and ears, like thousands of whispers struggling to make sense. Kurt would have thought that they were memories from looking at the pictures if his heart hadn't been pounding to a panicked rhythm. Kurt reached out and touched his own face in one of the photographs as if the connection would link him with the mind of the man in the frame. It was unreal, looking at this man in the photographs. This man who looked exactly what Kurt would imagine an older him to look like - living a life that he seemed to be perfectly comfortable in, with a husband and friends in the city of his dreams.

Sighing, Kurt moved on to the bookshelf next to the photographs. It was smaller than the bookshelf in the lounge and black instead of white. It criss crossed across the wall and a quick look at the contents told him it contained more slim files that were either related to his or Sebastian's work and tiny artifacts than actual books. Some of the stuff Kurt recognized from his old bedroom and that comforted him, some of the stuff was probably Sebastian and some of the gadgets had familiar logos on them but Kurt didn't have a clue what they did.

That was another thing about waking up ten years in the future, technology hadn't gotten any simpler.

The far left wall of the bedroom was dominated by huge windows – Sebastian hadn't been lying about plenty of natural light. The view was nothing short of breathtaking. The city at the moment was lit up with twinkling lights against the backdrop of the night sky but in the morning, he supposed the sun would have shone bright enough to bathe the entire room in its glow. Kurt spent a few minutes just staring and wondering how beautiful the city must look from here early in the morning or when it was raining or snowing. There could have been a sandstorm outside for all Kurt cared and he would still think it beautiful.

An inspection of his walk in closet followed afterwards and Kurt had to resist the urge to take out every item and examine it closely. He walked around opening random drawers in the bedroom, shifting through stuff that should probably mean something to him – scribbled notes, numbers and dates, a color coded planner (Kurt set that aside to come back to later). He kept expecting something to jog his memory, something to shout out to him, but he couldn't feel too disappointed when it didn't.

When he had thought about moving to New York, he had been prepared for a tiny, cramped apartment where he'd be stepping on Rachel's toes wherever he turned, he had thought about curling up close next to Blaine in their first apartment, slightly larger than the one he had shared with Rachel but lacking in a proper heating system. That would have been fine though, because it would have meant that they had to cuddle to keep warm.

He hadn't been thinking about getting a place like this for _years_. It was surreal, it felt like something too precious to be his, something he was afraid someone would take away from him any second. Whatever Kurt may have felt about everything else he had woken up to, his apartment definitely felt like home. He could _feel_ the love and care he (and Sebastian, don't forget Sebastian) had put into setting it up. Other things may have to take some getting used to but Kurt knew that he would always feel at home in this place. 


	7. Chapter 7

Enjoy ! ^^

Chapter 7 :

Sebastian didn't know how many drinks he'd had. He just knew it wasn't enough for the bartender to cut him off. "Jack!" Sebastian called out to the large man. "Did all that wax you've got stuffed in your ear impair your hearing? I said get me another fucking beer!"

"I heard you loud and clear the first three times, Smythe." The man said, leaning over the counter and fixing Sebastian with a firm stare. "But there's no way I'm letting you drink another sip of alcohol tonight. You're one second away from puking on my bar."

"You have no idea what I'm going through." Sebastian said, brining his fist donwn on the wooden countertop. "I need. A. Fucking. Drink."

"Give me your phone," Jack said, holding out a hand.

"Why?" Sebastian asked but he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone anyway.

"I'm calling Blaine," Jack said, taking the phone from his hand. "He'll take you home."

"You know me too well." Sebastian grumbled. "I've gotta find another bar."

"You'll be coming back in two days." Jack said with a grin. "No one can put up with your demanding little ass like I do. Well, except for Kurt."

Sebastian huffed. "Yeah. Kurt."

Jack turned his back for a few seconds while he spoke to Blaine.

Sebastian stared at his hands during the conversation, hoping Blaine would be caught up in something else to come and pick him up. He didn't want to see Blaine, he didn't want to go back to his apartment. He didn't need anyone looking after him.

"I just need another fucking beer." He said, looking up at Jack with pleading eyes. "Just get me. Another. Beer."

"Not happening tonight," Jack said, setting Sebastian's phone onto the counter between them. "Blaine'll be ten minutes."

"I'm going to sue you," Sebastian said darkly.

"You don't scare me, Smythe."

Blaine arrived in the next three minutes much to Sebastian's dismay. His hair was blown wild by the wind and the tip of his nose was red but he caught sight of Sebastian and sighed in relief. "Oh my god, what the _hell_ Seb?" he said, taking the empty stool next to him. "I tried calling you a million times. Why would you turn off your phone?"

"Maybe because I didn't want to talk to you or to anybody for that matter?" Sebastian asked.

Blaine looked at Jack. "How much has he had?"

"Enough," Jack replied.

Blaine gripped Sebastian's arm and tried to pull him to his feet. "C'mon."

"Don't touch me!" Sebastian said, yanking his arm out of Blaine's grip. He was suddenly reminded of Kurt saying the same words to him not four hours ago – wow, four hours. Had it been that long? "Just – leave me alone." Sebastian said, dropping his head down to his hands.  
Jack had moved down the bar to attend to other customers, Blaine was silent beside him for a moment before he said "This isn't the way to deal with things, Seb."

"Really?" Sebastian turned his head to look at Blaine with bloodshot eyes wet with tears. "You're going to tell me the best way to deal with this? You have no idea Blaine, okay? No. Idea."

"Probably not," Blaine said. "But I know enough to tell you that getting drunk isn't going to help anyone."

"He wants a divorce," Sebastian said in a quiet voice. "He wants a fucking _divorce._"

Blaine's lips parted in shock and his eyes widened. "W-what? He said that?"

Sebastian nodded, a bitter smile on his lips. "He said there was no way we would ever work out and that it was – it was the only solution, _god_." Sebastian looked away again and jerked his shoulder away from Blaine's touch when he tried to wrap his arm around him. "Seven fucking years together and he gives up on us just like that."

"He's - confused. Probably scared and overwhelmed." Blaine said slowly. "But he loves you and you know it, even if he doesn't."

"Why couldn't he have forgotten me completely?" Sebastian said with a frustrated huff. "Or remembered just one more year? Why does the universe have to be so fucking _cruel_?" He huffed and pulled back to look down at the wedding band on his finger. "I wish it had been me." he said in such a low voice, it was barely above a whisper.

"Sebastian..."

"No, seriously." Sebastian said, looking at Blaine with wide, earnest eyes. "It would have been so much easier. Kurt could have made me fall back in love with him in _seconds_ and -"

"And you would have ran in the other direction as fast as you could, scared shitless." Blaine said with a fond smile. "Trust me. Sebastian Smythe would never takes the news of being a married man well without every square inch of memory in why he got to the point in his head. You would have been a nightmare. I was at your wedding, remember? I've got proof of how easily you freak out."

Sebastian didn't know whether to laugh or smile so he just stared at Blaine until the other boy stood up and took him by the arm again. "Let's get you home," he said. This time, Sebastian followed.

Blaine left him at the foot of the building because Sebastian insisted that he was _fine_. He'd had the sense to take his keys before he left but standing outside his apartment, he suddenly felt bashful. He shouldn't have walked out like that, at least not on Burt. Hoping he didn't look as drunk as he felt, he slowly swung open the front door and stepped inside.

The apartment was silent and the lights were off except for a lamp in the lounge. Sebastian moved to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water. He didn't hear the sound of approaching footsteps and almost dropped the glass in his hands when he heard Kurt's voice from behind him.

"You're back."

He turned around, dreading the expression on Kurt's face but all he saw was him looking incredibly tired. "Yeah. I uh – I went...out." Sebastian said, his words slurring a little. He pressed a hand to his forehead, cool from touching the glass.

"Are you drunk?" Kurt asked, a crease forming between his brows.

This was not how Sebastian wanted to have his first proper conversation with Kurt after the events of the evening. He didn't want Kurt to see him like this. "No," he lied, taking a shaky step forward. He slipped and grabbed the fridge for support, feeling his face start to burn.

"I know what I said before might have been harsh," Kurt said.

"Did you mean it?" Sebastian asked, punctuating his question with a hiccough. "Do you want – are we going to have to get a divorce?"

_Please say no, please say no..._

Kurt sighed. "I know this is hard for you too but you gotta see this from my perspective here." he said, shaking his head. "All you are for me at the moment is the boy who tried to break up me and my boyfriend, consistently made sissyphobic comments about me who and nearly blinded Blaine with a rock salt slushie that was actually meant _for me_. All of that may be in the past for _you_ but it's as clear in my head as if it had happened yesterday. How can you expect me to overlook everything?"

"Kurt," Sebastian said, taking a few shaky steps towards the boy.

"Just give me a chance, _please_. Tell me what you want me to do, I'll do anything. Tell me how to fix this, tell me how to fix _you_ -"

"_I'm not broken_," Kurt said in a wet voice, struggling to remain steady.

Sebastian saw tears had sprung to Kurt's eyes and he panicked. "No, no. Of course you're not, baby -" he started, making a move to reach out to him. Kurt took a step back, looking uncomfortable and Sebastian wanted to bang his head on the wall for his slip. "I am trying," Sebastian said in a broken voice, his fist curling around thin air where he had reached for Kurt. "I am, Kurt."

"By getting drunk?"

Sebastian swallowed. "I told you we're married and the first thing you asked for is a divorce," he said in a broken voice. "How do you think I felt?"

"I'm sorry." Kurt said, his voice low and sincere. "I really am. But - we can't go back to what we were. I just, I can't -" he broke off and looked away as if Sebastian's face was causing him too much pain.

Was this it then? Sebastian thought. Was this the end? He felt the realization crashing down on him and the weight of it almost made him collapse to the ground. He didn't stop the tears when they started sliding down his cheeks but reached inside his pocket, fingers closing around Kurt's wedding band. Closing the last few steps of distance between them, he stopped in front of Kurt and held out the platinum band for him.

"W-what's this?" Kurt asked, looking from his outstretched hand to his face with a confused frown.

"Your wedding band." Sebastian said. "We'd decided that if we ever – if – we both agreed we'd take get to keep our wedding bands and then – I don't know, sell them? It was never really supposed to be an option. Just a joke."

"Sebastian -"

"Take it Kurt," he said, voice hoarse. "Just please, don't make this harder."

Kurt took the ring, his fingers brushing Sebastian's palm. Before he could stop himself, Sebastian was surging forward and pressing his lips to Kurt's forehead, not caring about how he stiffened under the touch. He kept his lips, wet with his tears pressed against Kurt's hot skin, every piece of him breaking until he finally found enough strength to move away.

He didn't look back at Kurt as he brushed past him but he stopped in his tracks when Kurt spoke up. His voice barely a whisper as he said, "I don't want a divorce."

See You Soon :)


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Hey Everyone ! Enjoy =)

It couldn't have taken more than a second but turning around to meet Kurt's gaze felt like an eternity. Sebastian wished he hadn't been drunk so that his vision wouldn't swim as much as it did; he just wanted to see Kurt's face clearly. From what he could make of it, he noticed that Kurt was crying, his fist closed around the band in his hand as he stared at Sebastian. His throat felt like someone had stuffed cotton in it and Sebastian swallowed before he asked, "You – you don't?"

Kurt closed his eyes and took a deep breath and in the little time that it took, Sebastian began to panic again. What if he hadn't meant it? What if he was regretting saying it now?

"There must have been a reason I married you," Kurt said, opening his eyes and breaking Sebastian's train of thought. "And I don't want to risk destroying something I – I guess I must have really wanted in order to..." he trailed off and bit his lip. "Until I get my memories back or in case I don't, we're going to have to learn to work around this - thing." He gestured around his head as if the block in his memory was something visible.

Sebastian wished it was, wished it was as easy as gripping it with his hand and throwing it aside to reveal a Kurt with his memories one hundred percent intact.

He found himself marching back to Kurt and he only got a glimpse of the surprised expression on Kurt's face before he had thrown an arm over his shoulder and pulled him against his chest in a bone crushing hug. Kurt let out a low sound of protest before he went slack in his grip. Sebastian didn't care that he wasn't being held in return, he just continued to hold Kurt close, breathing him in and grinning into his hair.

"I love you so much Kurt," he whispered. "So fucking much. I'd do anything for you."

"Um." Kurt didn't move a muscle but his uncertain tone seemed to snap Sebastian out of whatever trance he had been in and he pulled back.

"Sorry," he said quickly. "I wasn't thinking. I'm kind of -"

"Drunk?" Kurt supplied.

"Incredibly grateful," Sebastian said.

Kurt gave him a small smile but it was hesitant. "Look, Sebastian. I understand that we've been married for – how long have we been married?"

"Two years."

"Two years. Wow," Kurt breathed.

"We've been more or less together for seven." Sebastian said with a grin.

"Yeah, you mentioned that." Kurt said. "But right now I don't remember any of it so technically, I've only known you for a couple of not very happy months."

"But you're -"

"I'm going to try and work on not hating you," Kurt said with a nod. "But I need you to not do this."

"Do what?"

Kurt gestured between them. "_This_," he said and Sebastian wasn't any closer to understanding what he meant than he had been before. He frowned at Kurt until he sighed and said, "Look. Let's start slow okay? We'll work at being friends first and then see where it goes. You can't expect me to start acting like your husband just because I've decided against a divorce."

"No, no. Of course not." Sebastian said, realization dawning. "Take as much time as you want. I'm sorry. I won't – touch you? That sounds like I'm molesting you." He wrinkled his face and Kurt laughed a little, it was a beautiful sound. Sebastian immediately wanted to hear it again. "We'll work through this, Kurt," he said. "I promise."

"Thank You" Kurt said in a quiet voice. There was a tense moment of silence where Sebastian wished he had the ability to read Kurt's mind - _this_ Kurt's mind, because right now, Kurt's face was so much more guarded, so closed off than the Kurt Sebastian was used to. "Do you want anything from the bedroom?" Kurt asked then, breaking the silence. "Because I'm going to call it a night."

It took a moment for Sebastian to realize that he was expected to sleep on the couch since Burt was in the guest room. "I'll just grab a pillow and blanket," he said, following Kurt as he led the way to their bedroom. "Maybe get a change of clothes," he mumbled, pulling his shirt away from his body and wrinkling his nose.

Kurt stood by the windows as Sebastian got his stuff. "So I'm assuming you took a look around?" Sebastian asked.

"Yeah, I uh -" Kurt turned away from the window to look at him. "I think I'm kind of in love with this place."

"Good to know," Sebastian said with a grin.

"How can we afford it?" Kurt asked, walking over to the bed and sitting down at the edge. "I know that I have a decent job and you're – sorry, what do you do again?"

"I'm a lawyer," Sebastian said.

"Why am I not surprised?" Kurt asked, shaking his head and giving him another tight smile. "Even with that though, a place like this has got to cost a fortune and I might not recognize all of them but I know labels when I see them and most of this stuff -" he waved his hand around the room as a whole, "- is definitely designer."

"Well, the apartment itself was a wedding present." Sebastian said, rubbing the back of his neck. "My dad he – he'd made the investment a long time ago and we refused at first but you know, what the hell. We were going to start a life together and my apartment – where we were living at the time – was nice but we both agreed that this was something we would never regret taking. So we did. And we pitched in to design it which set us back quite a bit as far as money was concerned even though we've both got pretty decent incomes," he grinned at Kurt when he saw this piece of news pleased him. "But you've always been careful about savings and stuff which really balances out my tendency to go wild with spending money. It worked out okay in the end."

"Better than okay, I'd say," Kurt said in a low voice, pinching the comforter between his forefinger and thumb. Sebastian grinned; even though he knew Kurt was talking about the apartment, it made him unreasonably happy to know that at least this part of their life was something Kurt liked. Kurt looked up at him all of a sudden, "Do you have everything?"

Sebastian took that as a sign that he should to leave. Reluctantly, he made his way to the door. Kurt didn't ask him to stay, didn't even ask if the couch was a comfortable place to sleep (which, thankfully, it was) and Sebastian guessed he shouldn't have been surprised. Just because they were married and Kurt had agreed to try and make their relationship work didn't mean that he cared about him enough to ask if he would be comfortable where he slept.

"Just one more thing -" Kurt said, his voice stopping Sebastian in his tracks once again. "Which toothbrush is mine?"  
Sebastian smiled. "The purple one."

"Well, there goes my theory." Kurt sighed.

"What theory?"

"Nothing." Kurt said. He walked over to the door, forcing Sebastian to stumble backwards until he was standing just outside. "Goodnight Sebastian."

Sebastian blinked when the door closed in his face. He stared at the wood for a moment before his face broke out into a grin. At least he hadn't slammed it shut and at least he got a goodnight this time.  
Progress.

Kurt woke up feeling confused with the urge to call out to somebody just like he had at the hospital. He sat up slowly, blinking the sleep from his eyes and as soon as his vision cleared enough to take in his surroundings, he relaxed. It should have been weird, his new bedroom should have confused him further but Kurt felt the familiar calm settle over him like it had last night when he had gone around touching random possessions in the room.

He sank back into his pillows and took a deep breath. The room was still dark but the sun was rising slowly outside the huge windows. Kurt hadn't closed the blinds before he went to sleep and he was glad of it now when he turned on his side to stare at the early morning light glinting off the buildings. He closed his eyes again, pressing his cheek into his pillow.

Kurt had always considered the bed in his old room to be one of the most comfortable places on earth. Blaine's bed had been his second favorite simply because it was Blaine's (no, don't think about Blaine's bed, don't ruin the moment) but the fact was that this bed was just as, if not more comfortable. Kurt was pretty sure he could stay cuddled up in his blankets all day. He drifted off for a while, not going back to sleep but just hanging in the moment between wakefulness and sleep. Once or twice he jerked awake because he'd felt as if someone were sliding an arm around his waist but when he turned to look over his shoulder, Sebastian's side of the bed (oh god, they have _sides_ don't they?) was empty.

It wasn't that he felt creeped out by the phantom touch, in fact, he had a feeling that it might be some sort of sense memory. Like this wasn't the first morning he'd woken up to watch the sun rise outside the windows. Like it was something he did on a regular basis except he had someone pull him against their chest and press a kiss to the side of his neck as they did...

Kurt threw the comforter off of him and stood up. He didn't want to think about that certain _someone_ and what they did in this bed. Not right now.

He chose an outfit for the day, swearing to come back and give his closet the attention it deserved before making his way to the bathroom. The shower was just as glorious as Kurt had imagined. He spent a few minutes under the spray, just letting the water cascade over his body before he turned to the products assembled in the compartments that were carved into the wall. There was only one brand of shampoo and conditioner so Kurt figured that he and Sebastian must share. The shower gel, though – there were two bottles, neither of them a brand Kurt recognized. He picked up the first one and gave it an experimental sniff. It was something fresh and slightly fruity - grapefruit maybe? Kurt liked the smell at the any rate.

Just to make sure, he picked up the other bottle and gave it a sniff too and oh yeah, this was definitely his. While the first gel had smelled nice enough, this one immediately made him want to surround himself in the smell. It was comforting just like his bed had been comforting and Kurt inhaled again deeply, just to let the pleasant smell invade his senses once more.

The bottle said it contained Grape Seed Oil, Mandarin Orange Peel Oil, Bergamot Oil and Rosemary Leaf Extract. It could also be used as a shampoo. Even though he had perfectly good shampoo and conditioner right beside him, Kurt went ahead and worked the scent into his hair. By the time he emerged from the shower, he felt more relaxed than he had all morning.

Sebastian was surprisingly awake and making coffee in the kitchen when Kurt finished brushing his teeth and walked out. He must have taken a long time in the shower because the sun was fully out now and had bathed the apartment in bright light. Kurt took a moment to appreciate how beautiful the white color scheme of the lounge looked in the light of day. He slid onto a stool behind the kitchen counter with a quick, "Good morning."

"Sleep well?" Sebastian asked as he passed a cup of coffee over to him.

Kurt nodded as he took a sip. "You?" When Sebastian didn't reply, he looked at him over the rim of his mug only to find him frowning. "What?"

"You showered," Sebastian said.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "What gave it away? Was it my wet hair?"

Sebastian grinned. "So how'd you know which body wash was yours?" he asked conversationally.

Kurt felt a rush of satisfaction at the thought that he had been right. He shrugged, "I chose the scent I liked the most."

"You liked this one?" Sebastian asked, grinning widely.

"It made me feel calm, comfortable...happy - I don't know, does that makes sense?" Kurt asked, taking another sip.

"I guess," Sebastian said and okay, his grin was starting to get on Kurt's nerves.

"What?" he asked irately.

"Nothing." Sebastian pressed his lips together as if trying to stop himself from bursting out laughing.

"What -" he asked again, setting down his mug. "Is so funny?"

"It's just -" Sebastian's grin grew impossibly wide. "The body wash that made you feel so _calm, comfortable and happy_ is actually mine."

See You Soon =)


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9 :

Ennnnjjjjooooyyy =)

Kurt's cheeks remained tinged with pink for the rest of the morning. He desperately wished he hadn't picked up the second bottle and stuck to the grapefruit one. Now every time he inhaled, the scent of Sebastian's body wash filled his senses and while it was just as pleasant as it had been the first time, it made Kurt shift uncomfortably in his seat.

He was grateful that Sebastian didn't comment any further because he wasn't sure he could take the embarrassment. All he asked was, "Do you want some pancakes?" to which Kurt replied with a shrug and said "Sure."

From his position on the stool, Kurt watched Sebastian move around the kitchen, throwing ingredients together with practiced ease. "You cook?" he asked mostly because he wanted to take his mind off the stupid body wash.

"Wow, what gave it away?" Sebastian said, grinning at him over his shoulder. "Is it the pancake batter in my hands?"

Kurt rolled his eyes, "Just because you're making pancakes this morning doesn't mean you cook."

"I do," Sebastian said. "Just not very often. We don't work well together in the kitchen."

"Why?" Kurt asked, leaning forward and tilting his head to fix Sebastian with a curious stare.

"We both have serious control issues," Sebastian said with a grin. "So if either of us decides that it's our turn to cook, the other one has to stay the fuck away. And since you like cooking more than I do, I'm usually the one staying out of your way." Kurt nodded. "But we both know I'm the better cook."

"Somehow I don't believe you." Kurt said.

"You will after lunch." Sebastian said with a confident wink.

Kurt rested his chin on his fist as Sebastian turned back to the stove and took another sip of coffee. It hit him then, watching the muscles shift in Sebastian's shoulders as he flipped pancakes, that he was going to be _living_ with this man. Somehow, finding out that they were married hadn't made the realization sink in sooner – Kurt had been too caught up in the absurdity of the situation to think about anything else.

Now though, everything suddenly felt so _real_. From the extra toothbrush in the bathroom to Sebastian's bed hair and night clothes – this man, who until a few days ago (in his head, anyway) had been nothing but an irritating presence at Kurt's favorite coffee shop was now _living_ with him. He'd been the last person Kurt saw before going to bed last night and the first person Kurt had seen this morning.

_And he's making me breakfast_

"Something wrong?" Sebastian asked when he turned around and caught the look on Kurt's face. He slid a plate of warm buttermilk pancakes complete with blueberries on top over to him but Kurt made no move to reach for it. "Kurt?"

"I – I don't feel well," Kurt said, pushing the plate away. He stood up, taking his coffee mug with him as he did and ignored the confused expression on Sebastian's face. "I'm going back to bed."

Sebastian lips were still forming around words when Kurt left, not giving him another glance. He'd just opened his bedroom door when Burt walked out of his own room, yawning. "Hey kiddo," he said as he made his way towards the bathroom.

Kurt gave him a smile before ducking into the bedroom and shutting the door behind him. He found his wedding band exactly where he'd left it last night – on top of his planner inside his side table drawer. It felt heavier in his hand when he picked it up this time, like the weight of all it represented was making itself known to him. Kurt turned it over a couple of times before hesitantly sliding it down his ring finger.

It fit perfectly. Of course.

There was no denying that it was a beautiful ring. Under different circumstances, Kurt might have spent hours admiring how flawless it looked against his skin. Maybe he had.

At the moment though, it only made him think of Sebastian in the kitchen with an identical ring and sent a wave of panic through him. He took the ring off and put it back in the drawer. If he'd thought that trying it on would make the situation any less weird for him, he had been absolutely wrong.

He dropped his head into his hand, pushing his fingers through his wet hair and taking a deep breath which he immediately regretted when the now familiar scent of Sebastian's body wash filled his nostrils. "What the hell have I got myself into?" he muttered.

Clouds from seemingly nowhere converged in the sky close to midday. Kurt had moved out into the lounge again and was sitting on the couch with his dad when it started to rain. He lost track of what his father was talking about – he had been catching Kurt up on everyone back home – but even the news of Finn and his family wasn't enough to distract Kurt from the view.

It was a different kind of beautiful from the morning sunshine. The droplets fell thick and fast like millions of diamonds falling from the sky, reflecting in the glass of the nearby buildings. Kurt tilted his head and pressed his cheek to the back of the sofa as he stared outside.

"Kurt?" his dad's voice asked. Kurt hummed, not turning his gaze away from the windows. "What the hell are you looking at?"

"The rain." Kurt said, "It's beautiful."

"You'd think you've never seen rain before in your life from the way you look right now." Burt said with a chuckle.

Sebastian laughed from the kitchen and Kurt's gaze flickered towards him. He had asked Kurt if he was going to explain his behavior at breakfast but Kurt had simply said _no_ and both of them had left it at that. Now, when their eyes met, Sebastian gave Kurt a warm smile like he knew exactly how and why Kurt found the rain fascinating. Kurt didn't smile, just blinked at him as Sebastian turned back to peeling potatoes.

He didn't know how long he spent staring at the rain. Burt had gone back to reading the newspaper and though Kurt wanted ask him so many things about Ohio, his tongue felt heavy in his mouth and his eyelids were starting to droop. He drifted like he had that morning, still aware of Burt and Sebastian talking around him but not caring enough to add anything of his own to the conversation.

The sofa dipped a while later with the weight of another body and Sebastian's voice was so much closer when he said, "I'll wake him up in a bit. Yeah, go ahead." Kurt guessed Burt must have got up and gone somewhere because it was silent after that. He didn't really care; the sound of the rain hitting the windowpanes and the distant rumble of thunder was sound enough for him.

Someone, Sebastian probably, had draped a blanket over him at one point because when Kurt shifted, he felt the blanket move with him. "You awake?" Sebastian's voice asked softly. Kurt didn't bother responding because he was too comfortable to make the effort; he kept his eyes closed and continued to breathe deeply.

The light brush of the knuckles against his cheek the next second almost made him jump. His heart picked up pace and his breath hitched but Sebastian didn't notice because he kept stroking Kurt's face from his temples, down along his cheekbones to his chin and then back up. Kurt felt the urge to jerk away from the touch but it was soothing and eventually, he relaxed enough to let a small sigh escape his lips.

"Kurt," Sebastian said from far away.

_What?_ Kurt wanted to ask.

"Kurt." And that was it. His name once again; soft, tender, loving. The sound washed over his whole body and filled him with unexplainable warmth. Kurt smiled into his pillow – when had he gotten a pillow? – and drifted once more.

Byebye

SabrinaJeff


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10 :

_It's raining the day they move into their apartment._

Kurt is tense, terrified that something precious is going to break in the process of bringing the boxes up. He snaps more than once at Sebastian when he sets down a carton too heavily and the contents rattle. Sebastian ignores him, stays out of his way for the most part until they have everything and all that's left is unpacking. Once he slips a few bills into the hands of their movers, he closes the door and walks over to where Kurt is standing in the middle of a sea of boxes, staring out the huge windows at the slanting rain.

His arms slip around his waist easily and Kurt stiffens for a second before relaxing back against him. They're quiet for a long moment, the only sound coming from the rain pounding against the window sill. They haven't switched on any lights yet and it's dark enough because of the clouds for it to seem like late evening even though it's barely past noon.

"Did you remember to tell Paula about the change in moving dates?" Kurt asks suddenly. "Because if you didn't then we'll have to go a whole week without a bed and -"

"Yes I did," Sebastian says, cutting him off.

"And Blaine's bringing over the -"

"Kurt, shut up."

"He said he'd call by six – what time is it right now? You can barely tell the difference between night and day with all this rain -"

"Kurt, shh." Sebastian says, kissing the side of Kurt's neck. "Breathe, baby."

Kurt lets out a long breath and leans back against Sebastian's chest. His hand is resting over Sebastian's on his waist and he's isn't sure if he even realizes it, but Kurt starts to trace the wedding band on Sebastian's finger with long, slow strokes. It's been a week since the ceremony and they've been wearing their rings for longer than that but the way Kurt's finger moves over the platinum band, barely brushing the skin at the corners makes Sebastian hyper aware of the little patch of skin.

He breaks the silence all of a sudden, "Shit."

"What?" Kurt asks, "Don't tell me we forgot something."

"Shit Kurt," Sebastian says again. Kurt turns around in his arms, frowning. "We're married." Kurt laughs for the first time all morning, the sound echoing around the walls of their apartment. Sebastian drops his forehead to rest against Kurt's and laughs with him. "What is so funny?" he asks even though he's still grinning.

Kurt reaches up to cup Sebastian's face. "Don't tell me you're having second thoughts. Not after we've already agreed to take this place. Because if you are, then I'm sorry, we'll have to resolve to stay in an unhappy marriage, I'm not ready to give up the apartment."

"At least the sex will be fantastic," Sebastian says.

"Mm, I can guarantee that."

"I'm not having seconds thoughts," Sebastian says when Kurt turns around again and presses his back against Sebastian's chest. "I'm just worried I'm going to screw this up."

"Seriously?" Kurt says. "Shouldn't you have thought of that before _we got married?"_

"Do you know how long it took me to finally ask you to move in the first time?" Sebastian says. "I don't do this Kurt. I've never done this. And now we've got these -" he held up both their hands, the bands shining in even the dull light. "And it's not just an excuse to have more sex anymore."

"So that's what it was last time?" Kurt says, turning his head to give him a teasing smile. "You asked me to move in so you could have more sex?"

"Obviously."

"I had a feeling that's what it was all about."

Sebastian smiles and presses his nose to the curve behind Kurt's ear, inhaling deeply. Kurt smells like rain and sweat, tastes the same when

Sebastian replaces his nose with his lips and sucks lightly at the skin. There's so much Sebastian wants to say in that moment but he can't find the words. So he nudges Kurt's jaw with his nose until Kurt turns his head and captures his lips in a soft, reassuring kiss.

"We can do this," Kurt whispers against his lips, his hand coming back up to cup the side of Sebastian's face. "We can."

"_What if I screw up?"_

Kurt smiles, "I might decide you're worth it and give you a third chance."

"Third?"

"You've already used up your second."

"And it resulted in our marriage." Sebastian says with a grin. "I make the most of what I get."

Kurt twists his body so they're in a weird, half embrace and kisses him again. Sebastian walks them both backwards until Kurt's back is pressed against the huge windows, his body framed by the city. He kisses him deeper, sliding his tongue into Kurt's mouth and stroking the roof of his mouth in a way that makes Kurt curl closer to him.

When they have sex for the first time on a blanket on the floor of their new apartment, it's completely unlike the way it had been last time when Kurt had moved in. Last time, Sebastian had held Kurt up against a wall and fucked him until he went boneless in his arms. This time, it's Kurt who fucks in to him, slow and deep, filling him up until Sebastian can't breathe. Every touch feels like more of a promise than the last and Sebastian is terrified.

More terrified than he had been when he told Kurt he loved him for the first time, or when he had finally proposed. Making their wedding vows hadn't been as terrifying as this. This is the point where the glamour of their wedding that has surrounded them for months comes to an end. This is the first step in an endless staircase that is going to be their life together_. There is so much that could go wrong._

He shudders in Kurt's arms when he comes, the sound of his harsh panting overpowered by the thundering rain. Kurt presses his lips to the curve of his jaw, buries his face in his neck as he continues to thrust until he comes with a low whimper. They lie together, their chests sweaty and legs tangled together. Kurt's softening cock is still inside Sebastian and the oversensitivity is almost painful but Sebastian holds Kurt tighter when he tries to move away.

"No," he whispers. "Stay just a bit longer."

"I'm staying with you forever, remember?" Kurt says with a smile.

"I hope so," Sebastian says. "I honestly don't know what I would do without you."

"Well with any luck," Kurt says, kissing the corner of his mouth and pushing away the sweaty strands of his hair from his forehead. "You want have to do without me."

Sebastian shook him awake some time later, his hand gentle but firm. "Come on, sleeping beauty, that's enough."

"Don't call me that," Kurt mumbled automatically, fighting the urge to push Sebastian away. He was still hanging onto the last, lazy shreds of sleep and his body stretched before he had even opened his eyes.

Sebastian must have thought that he was turning over to go back to sleep because he groaned. "God, you sleep a lot," he said. "Wasn't a whole week of unconsciousness enough for you?"

Kurt finally opened his eyes to glare at him but all he got in return was a wide grin. He sat up, kicking the blanket away from his body. "What time is it?"

"Lunch time, buddy," his father called from the table. "Come on. You don't want to miss this."

Sebastian stepped back when Kurt stood up and there was a brief moment when Kurt looked at him and remembered the brush of knuckles against his face. "What?" Sebastian asked, a crease forming between his brows.

"Nothing," Kurt said with a shake of his head. "I guess I'm still waking up."


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11 :

Kurt insisted on doing the dishes after lunch because he felt useless after a day of nothing but lazing around and napping, though he didn't tell that to Sebastian. When Sebastian tried to protest and get him to just use the dish washer, Kurt snapped at him. "I've lost my memory, Sebastian. Not my motor skills. I think I can handle a few plates and glasses."

"Jesus, you can wash the fucking dishes. No need to get your claws out." Sebastian said. "Less work for me."

Burt had to run down to the store for a few supplies, he asked them if they needed anything to which both of them shook their heads. It wasn't until the apartment door closed behind him that Kurt realized they were alone and that Sebastian was staring at him. He ignored him for as long as he could, focusing instead on the mechanical task at hand. It felt good to do something even if it was as simple as washing dishes. Kurt was about to ask if he could take over cooking duties for the night when Sebastian broke the silence.

"So what did you think?"

"Of what?" Kurt asked, not looking at him.

"Lunch."

"It was okay."

"Do you believe me now when I say I'm the superior cook?"

Kurt chanced a look at Sebastian who was sitting on the stool Kurt had occupied that morning. "You made grilled chicken and mashed potatoes," he said. "Not exactly gourmet cuisine."

"I was working with a hangover," Sebastian said, sounding offended. "Cut a guy some slack." Kurt shrugged as he dragged the soaping sponge down a plate. He almost jumped when he felt Sebastian's chest brush against his back. When had he moved from his place? "Relax, tiger. I'm just making things easier." Sebastian said, reaching for a towel and grabbing a wet plate.

"I see your habit of calling me names that aren't you know, _my actual name_ hasn't died over the years," Kurt said.

Sebastian grinned. "I only use them with specific reason."

"What might those be?"

"Depends," Sebastian said with a shrug, taking another plate from Kurt's hand. "Either I'm trying to irritate you like I am right now. Or I'm in a romantic mood or -" he stopped when he saw that Kurt had tensed. "I mostly just call you Kurt." he finished quickly.

The silence between them was awkward for a second before the ringtone of Sebastian's cell phone filled the apartment. "Are you trying to wake the dead?" Kurt asked, looking over at the coffee table where the phone was vibrating along with the sound. He thought he saw a hint of bitterness in Sebastian's smile.

It was Blaine, promising to come by after work with dinner. "Kurt do you want Chinese or pizza?" Sebastian called out.

"Anything as long as it's not dripping with grease," Kurt said.

"Just grab a few burgers." Sebastian said and Kurt somehow knew just by his tone that he was rolling his eyes. "No, he's got his hands occupied at the moment. You can talk to him when you see him later."

Kurt almost turned around and told Sebastian to give him the phone anyway, he was so eager to talk to Blaine but by then, Sebastian had already hung up. At least he would see him this evening, Kurt said to himself. He couldn't stop the grin that spread on his face at the prospect.

Kurt spent the rest of the afternoon browsing his closet. For the most part, he had to fight the urge to grab his laptop and start researching fashion trends over the past ten years. He found a few pieces with a tag that had the initials KH on them and it took a surprising amount of time for Kurt to recognize that they were actually _his_ designs. His surprised shout was so loud, both Burt and Sebastian appeared in his doorway within seconds. Kurt flushed a deep shade of red and waved them off but Sebastian stayed anyway, his grin telling Kurt he knew exactly what had prompted the exclamation.

"You're still working on a proper clothing line," he said, sitting down on the bed much to Kurt's dismay. "But you've been making stuff for yourself for ages."

Kurt was silent as he ran his hand over the shirt. He almost asked Sebastian to tell him more – about his designs, about his job but then he looked up and saw the way Sebastian had slid back on the bed and was lounging there as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Even though Kurt knew this was technically _their_ bed, seeing Sebastian spread out like that, with the shadows of raindrops playing on his skin made him feel uncomfortable.

He was considering the politest way to tell him to leave when he heard Blaine's voice out in the hall, greeting Burt. His heart skipped a beat and he quickly turned back to check his reflection in the full length mirror in his closet. His hair was a mess and his clothes weren't as flattering as they could be, especially after a morning spent rolling around in them, but at least he looked better than he had at the hospital.

Sebastian didn't notice Kurt's sudden jumpiness. He called out to Blaine from his position on the bed and grinned lazily at him when Blaine walked through the bedroom door. Kurt's breath caught in his throat at the sight of him. His hair was dripping with thick droplets of water that fell down in big blotches onto his powder blue button down. The first two buttons were open to reveal a patch of bronze skin damp with rain and Kurt flashed back to the night Blaine's parents had been out of town and the two of them had spent hours just mouthing over each other's body.

"Hey," Blaine said with a bright smile, oblivious to the sudden racing in Kurt's heart as he made his way towards him.

"Hi," Kurt managed to say with a smile. He didn't resist when Blaine pulled him into a hug but he did feel a flash of heat shoot through him when he kissed Kurt's cheek. Sebastian seemed unfazed by the display of affection and it surprised Kurt given how his last meeting with Blaine had ended on the news of their break up but maybe they were the sort of friends who kissed? Blaine had always been very physically affectionate; Kurt shouldn't have been surprised that the habit would have stuck after all these years. A kiss on the cheek was probably as normal as a handshake for him by this point.

"How are you doing?" Blaine asked as Kurt joined him and Sebastian on the bed.

"He spent the whole day napping," Sebastian said with a grin and Kurt elbowed him in the thigh, his eyes fixed on the way Blaine's grin widened.

"Well that's good, right? You need your rest."

"Yeah, I guess." Kurt said.

It felt oddly familiar sitting on the bed talking to the two of them; his husband and his best. Kurt rolled around the words on tongue as if they would make the roles of these boys any more real in his head. As if the warmth he felt when he looked at Blaine would transfer to when he looked at Sebastian.

It never did.

When Sebastian said he was going to go the bathroom, Kurt almost grabbed his hand and told him to stay because he felt as if a whole cage of butterflies had been let loose in his stomach at the thought of staying alone with Blaine in his bedroom.

Blaine just smiled at him though, playing with one of the cushions as he asked, "So how're things with Sebastian?"

Kurt shrugged, "We're getting along. I guess."

"Give him a chance, Kurt."

"I have." Kurt said. "I just keep thinking about the last time I did."

Blaine looked at him long and hard, as if he was weighing his words before he said them. "That was a long time ago. A lot of things have changed."

"You're telling me," Kurt said with a roll of his eyes.

"It's stopped raining," Blaine said and Kurt was about to call him out on his sudden change of topic when Blaine asked, "Have you been on the roof yet?" Kurt shook his head. "Oh my god, you haven't? Come on, the timing is perfect. The sun hasn't set yet."

Kurt found himself being dragged out the bedroom towards the apartment door as Blaine shouted a quick, "We're going to the roof!" to Burt over his shoulder.

Kurt was too focused on the feeling of Blaine's hand around his wrist to pay attention to where they were going. He only looked up when they stepped out onto the roof, still a little wet from a day of nonstop rain.

"Wow," Kurt breathed.

"It's beautiful isn't it?" Blaine asked, letting go of his hand and stepping forward. "Surprisingly, no one ever comes up here so we can hang out and never have to worry about intruding on someone else's space."

Kurt walked over to the ledge and looked out at the city, Blaine coming to stand beside him, his face turned towards the sky. Kurt looked at him, his hand aching to reach out and touch his cheek, trace over the end of day stubble there. Instead, he turned back to the buildings around him and asked, "You've been in New York longer than me, right?"

"Only by three years. Give or take a couple of months."

"And to think I was always worried about how you would deal with being left behind." Kurt said quietly. Blaine gave him a small smile but didn't press the subject. "Blaine," Kurt said, turning his body towards him. "Why did we break up?"

"We were – we were fighting a lot." Blaine said. "The distance was getting to us both and every time we promised each other we'd try and make it work, about ten things would go wrong simultaneously and it would make everything that much harder."

"Did either of us...cheat?" When Blaine didn't reply, Kurt felt his heart sink.

"No," he said finally. "Not in the literal sense. But emotionally, I think we had moved on a long time before we finally ended things."

That was worse than anything. Kurt felt tears start to gather in his eyes at the thought of him and Blaine struggling to make a relationship work when neither of them was emotionally invested anymore. It just wasn't something he could process right now. He could never think of a point where he didn't love Blaine with all his heart.

"I'm glad I don't remember it." Kurt said in a quiet voice. "I don't want to remember falling out of love with you. I don't – I can't think of how I ever _could_."

"We moved on, Kurt. That was all." Blaine said. "We still love each other, just not in the way we used to. It's not any less intense – just different."

Kurt wiped his eyes, trying to stop the tears from escaping. He didn't want to cry. Not over something he was sure he had already devoted several hours to crying over. "You know what the worst part is?" Kurt asked. "It's not that we broke up – it's how I don't remember all the good stuff in the years we were together. Senior prom, winning Nationals together, sneaking you into my dorm room – did I sneak you into my dorm room?"

Blaine grinned. "A couple of times."

Kurt laughed. It sounded wet. "See?"

"Well you still have pictures of all of it. Maybe not the dorm room part, but Nationals and prom – facebook is probably full of them."

"I just," Kurt took a deep breath. "I guess I'm looking for some sort of closure."

"Closure?" Blaine repeated, frowning a little.

Kurt looked at him and nodded slowly, eyes raking over his face and still seeing the same Blaine he had always seen, just a little older. "Blaine," he said in an almost terrified whisper. "Can I kiss you?"

Blaine's face immediately became guarded. "Kurt -"

"No, please. Just listen to me." Kurt said, cutting him off. "Just one time. One last time. Think of it as a consolation prize for missing out on the years of being together that I don't remember. Please, Blaine."

"Kurt, you're -" Kurt knew he was going to say _married_ but he didn't. Blaine looked at him with hesitation and sympathy, the same way he had looked at him the first time Kurt had confessed his crush to him. Kurt's heart pounded while he waited for Blaine's answer, he could see his mind working behind his eyes. Finally, he took a deep breath and said "For closure?"

Kurt smiled, relief washing over him. "For closure."

"Where did Kurt and Blaine go?" Sebastian asked after he came out of the bathroom to find the bedroom empty.

Burt was watching football and didn't look away from the screen when he said, "They went up on the roof or something."

Sebastian slipped into a pair of sandals and took the stairs two at a time, finding the door wide open when he got to the top. The sun was just about setting but there was still enough light to make out Kurt and Blaine standing off to his left. Sebastian made a move towards them but stopped in his tracks when he saw how they were pressed together.

For a moment he thought his eyes must have been playing tricks on him, he grappled for an explanation that would explain why Blaine was currently cupping Kurt's face with both hands or why Kurt had his fingers threaded through Blaine's curls, holding him close. His brain tried and failed to give him a valid answer and as much as he wanted to, as much it felt like a blow to heart every second he kept staring, Sebastian couldn't look away.

He stood frozen, feeling sick as he watched the two of them kiss; his husband and his best friend.

See You !

SabrinaJeff


	12. Chapter 12

Hi ! Enjoy this chapter =)

Chapter 12

Sebastian didn't remember going back downstairs. He didn't answer when Burt asked him if something was wrong, just walked past him into the bedroom where everything had been so perfect just a few minutes ago and shut the door. The image of Kurt and Blaine seemed to be burned into the back of his eyelids, every time he so much as blinked, he was treated to the sight of them kissing with a passion he hadn't seen between them in _years_.

It wasn't like Sebastian hadn't anticipated Kurt's feelings towards Blaine, he just hadn't expected them to lead anywhere because he had never thought _Blaine_ would let them. He didn't know whether he was more hurt or angry. Probably a wild mixture of both.

The door opened and Blaine walked in, looking surprised when he saw Sebastian standing in the middle of the room. "Oh hey – we were wondering where you were." he said, but Sebastian noticed how he was avoiding his gaze.

"Where's Kurt?" Sebastian asked, his voice surprisingly calm.

"He's still on the roof. I guess he wanted to look at the view a bit longer."

"Really?" Sebastian said in a flat voice.

"Yeah," Blaine gave him a small smile and rubbed the back of his neck. Sebastian wondered if he knew how the guilt was seeping through every moment of his body. His eyes kept flickering from Sebastian to the windows before he finally said, "Listen Sebastian, I think I'm going to stay away for a bit."

"Stay away?"

"I think it's best for all of us."

"Did something happen?" Sebastian asked.

"No, no. Nothing happened." Blaine said quickly.

"Why don't you say that again, Blaine?" Sebastian said, his voice dangerously calm. "With a little more conviction this time."

Blaine looked at Sebastian with panicked eyes. "I don't - What?"

"I'll tell you what," Sebastian said, stepping closer to him. "I just saw you kissing my husband not two minutes ago." Blaine's expression froze and Sebastian felt a tinge of satisfaction at how the color drained from his face. "And instead of dealing with how big of a _dick_ you are to do that to me and to Kurt, you're just going to run away."

"It's not like that -"

"Isn't it?" Sebastian said, his anger rising to the surface now. "What's it like then Blaine? Because from what it looked like, you were definitely kissing _my husband_ on that roof knowing full well how he feels about you and how having you kiss him is the last thing he needs right now!"

"Sebastian -"

"You're my best friend, you asshole!" Sebastian shouted, not bothering to keep his voice low. "What the _fuck_ were you thinking? How could you possibly have justified doing something like that?"

"Kurt said -"

"_Kurt is stuck ten years in the past_. You're not!"

Blaine opened and closed his mouth but decided against saying anything. Sebastian fought the urge to hit him, balled his hands into fists at his side instead and breathed through his nose in an attempt to calm himself.

"Get out," he said finally.

Blaine blinked. "What?"

"I said get out. You're right, it's best if you stay away for a while. It's bad enough that Kurt hates me right now, I don't need you making things worse than they already are."

"I'm sorry," Blaine said, rubbing his face with his hand. "I really am."

Sebastian didn't say anything, just clenched his jaw and waited for Blaine to leave. Blaine looked at him with a desperate expression on his face as if he was searching for the right words to fix everything but then he just nodded, looking as broken as Sebastian felt when he left.

Dinner was tense. Burt kept looking at Sebastian with a questioning frown but he didn't press for any details even though he was bound to have heard bits of his argument with Blaine. Instead, he kept up a steady stream of conversation with Kurt, talking about meaningless things which Kurt only replied to in monosyllables. For the first time, Sebastian wished Burt hadn't been there; he knew he was only trying to help but Sebastian didn't need anyone's help right now. What he needed was time alone with Kurt so they could both figure this out without anyone's misguided attempts at helping them.

His frustration with him faded away when Burt got up and declared he was going to bed early. Sebastian waited until the bedroom door had shut behind him before he finally turned his gaze to Kurt. He hadn't asked where Blaine had gone nor had he said one word to Sebastian throughout the evening. He chewed his food in silence, sniffing occasionally in a way that made Sebastian think he was fighting tears.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

Kurt shrugged.

"Kurt?"

"I'm done," Kurt said, dropping the rest of his burger onto his plate. "I can't eat anymore. It feels like I'm stuffing cotton in my mouth."

"Do you want a drink?"

"I think I'm going to go to bed." Kurt said, pushing back his chair and standing up.

"Wait," Sebastian said and Kurt sighed, turning to look at him impatiently. Sebastian stood up, careful not to step into Kurt's comfort zone, knowing he would close off even further. "Don't go to bed yet."

"I'm tired."

"You spent the whole day sleeping!" Sebastian backtracked when he saw the way Kurt's eyes narrowed. "Can we just – I don't know, talk?"

"Why?" Kurt asked as if the idea was ridiculous.

"Do we need a reason?" Sebastian said, trying his best to hide his desperation. "I just want to talk."

Kurt looked at him closely for a moment and Sebastian felt hopeful that he would nod and sit back down but Kurt just shook his head and said, "I'm really not in the mood right now."

Sebastian stood looking after him for a long time, his mind swimming and his stomach clenching painfully before he found himself walking down the hall towards his bedroom, a new determination in his step. He didn't knock, just opened the door and walked in. Kurt looked up in alarm from where he was sitting on the bed and wiped his face hastily before he glared at him, "What?"

"Are you even trying?" Sebastian said, closing the door behind him and crossing his arms.

"I don't know what you're talking about. _What are you doing in my room_?"

"This is our room."

Kurt huffed. "Sebastian, just leave me alone."

"I don't think you are," Sebastian continued, ignoring him. "I don't think you care about us enough to try and make this work."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Kurt said, standing up.

"It means I'm your husband and you couldn't care less about me or how I feel in about all of this."

"See this is exactly what I was talking about," Kurt said, shaking his head. "I feel like I'm _obligated_ to love you just because you're my husband and you make it so difficult to try and -"

"That's just it, though!" Sebastian said, his body practically shaking. "You aren't trying. You're not making the slightest effort to remember anything."

"I didn't know there was a rulebook of how to go about regaining your memory." Kurt snapped.

"You don't need a rulebook to tell you that you don't go around kissing your ex boyfriends when you're married, Kurt!"

Kurt froze, much like Blaine had. "He told you?" he asked in a quiet voice.

"I saw you both," Sebastian said. "Do you have any idea how I felt when I -"

"Do you have any idea how _I_ feel?!" Kurt said, cutting him off. His posture was defensive, tears gathering in his eyes. "So much has changed and I've barely had time to process it. It's not as easy as pushing a button, Sebastian. My memory isn't going to return just because I _tried_ to remember something." He put his hands to his temples and massaged them in slow circles, letting out a deep breath. "Everything is just so damn confusing for me right now," he said, looking back up at Sebastian with wet eyes. "I know I promised to try and make this work but – it's not working. I'm sorry. The truth is that I don't love you. I _can't_ love you. I just can't. And wearing some stupid, expensive rings isn't going to change that."

Sebastian's body didn't give him any warning. The tears sprung to his eyes and started streaming down his cheeks before he had a chance to do anything about them. Kurt seemed to realize what he'd said and his face changed; his lips parted and the crease in his eyebrow disappeared, replaced instead by guilt carved into every inch of his features. "Sebastian, I didn't -"

"You were right before," Sebastian said through his tears. "You're not my husband. You're not my Kurt."

Kurt's eyes flared with anger and he took a step forward, the words falling from his lips almost like a reflex. "I _am_ your Kurt."

There was a stunned pause after that where they both stared at each other and Sebastian felt his heart skip a few beats in succession. The sheer _force_ with which Kurt had said the words sent a shiver through him and it took all his self control to remain standing where he was and not reach out and grab Kurt.

See You Soon !

SabrinaJ


	13. Chapter 13

Thanks For Your Reviews =) Enjoy This Chapter ^^

Chapter 13 :

"I – I don't know where that came from," Kurt said in a shocked whisper. His whole body was quivering; the rushing sound in his ears was back and a disgusting throbbing had started up in his head, the kind that occurred after he had spent a long time crying. He pressed the heel of his hands to both his eyes and tried to block his vision, tried to take deep calming breaths and clear his head.

His words were still echoing in his head.

_I __**am**__ your Kurt_

He hadn't even been aware of what he'd said until the words were hanging in the air between them. It had been as natural as saying, 'are you crazy?' when someone insisted that flip flops were considered respectable footwear. He didn't know what had prompted it except for the fact that the second he had seen Sebastian start to cry, guilt had washed over him like a tidal wave and all he'd wanted to do was make it better.

When Sebastian had said he wasn't his Kurt, it had _hurt_. There was no reason for his words to hurt, they were true – Kurt had said as much himself. He _wasn't_ Sebastian's husband, he wasn't the same Kurt and yet, something inside him had flared up and felt the need to fight back.

It was like there was another _him_ struggling to come to the surface, to fix what Kurt was screwing up. A Kurt who took comfort in the smell of Sebastian's body wash, who curled up close to him in his sleep and wore his wedding band proudly rather than hiding it away in a drawer. A Kurt who felt Sebastian's pain as strongly as if it were his own and refused to let himself be the cause of it.

_Sebastian's Kurt._

Kurt wanted to rip him out of his body and throw him at Sebastian. Say 'here, you have him. Now leave me alone.'

Instead, he was stuck battling with him, trying to reconcile that Kurt's feelings with his own feelings. It was exhausting and confusing.

"Kurt," Sebastian's voice was gentle, closer.

"Just go away," Kurt said without any force.

"Kurt, look at me." Sebastian's voice was calm, pleading and it was that, more than anything that made Kurt open his eyes and look at him. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine," Kurt said, taking a step back to put some distance between them.

To his dismay, Sebastian only stepped closer. "You don't look fine."

"Sebastian -" but Kurt didn't have the energy to say anything else except, "I'm sorry." He wished he'd opened a lamp or something because it suddenly felt too close, too personal standing here in the dark with Sebastian barely an arm's length away from him. "I'm sorry," he said again. "I shouldn't have lashed out at you, I shouldn't have kissed Blaine but I wasn't thinking and -"

"Hey - hey, ssh." Sebastian said, closing the last few inches between them and wrapping his arms around Kurt. The promise he'd made last night to keep his distance seemed to have flown out the window for all the care Sebastian took to stay at a respectful distance.

"No, don't -" Kurt said, trying to twist away from the embrace but Sebastian didn't budge. Something told him he was used to Kurt pushing him away when he was upset but unlike everyone else, he didn't back down.

_Marriage perks_ a voice in his head said.

Kurt didn't want to cry, he really didn't. But there was something about the way Sebastian was cradling his head against his chest with his other arm wrapped tightly around Kurt's waist that made him _want_ to cry. A battle seemed to be raging between how his body wanted to press in closer and let Sebastian hold him and how his mind refused to come to terms with the fact that he was letting Sebastian Smythe comfort him.

His body won because Kurt let out a shuddering breath and relaxed in Sebastian's arms. Sensing the sudden lack of resistance, Sebastian tightened his grip. His fingers threaded through Kurt's hair, stroking along his scalp in a slow, soothing motion and his chin came to rest on top of his head.

"You don't have to be sorry," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "You have issues to sort out, I get that. I just wish you would let me help you instead of going to someone else."

"I wasn't thinking of you when I kissed him." Kurt said. "Maybe I should have, but I wasn't. You have to understand that I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I know you didn't." Sebastian said with a sigh. "You don't care about me enough to think of hurting of me – no, don't try to deny it. It's the truth and we both know it."

"If I didn't care," Kurt said slowly. "I wouldn't have apologized. I wasn't lying when I said I don't love you. I don't. But – I do care about you. To some extent, at least."

"You didn't just say you don't love me, Kurt. You said you _can't_." Sebastian said, looking heartbroken.

If there was any way to talk all of his words back, Kurt would. The hurt on Sebastian's face was breaking him more than his own pain.

_We're in the same situation,_ he thought with a burning sadness. _We both woke up one day to find out that the person we love most doesn't love us back anymore._

Kurt hated feeling like he owed something to anyone but he knew he owed it to Sebastian to be honest with him. If Blaine had closed himself off and refused to talk to Kurt, it would have torn his heart apart. He may not have been Sebastian's Kurt one hundred percent but he was all Sebastian had and it may have been an obligation, but it was something Kurt would have expected too if the situation were reversed.

"When I was in the hospital," Kurt said quietly, "Doctor Hendricks told me that one of the main causes of stress in my situation would be the complete lack of control I had over my life. She said that since _this_ version of my life isn't going to make any sense to me, I might try and hold on to everything I know from my past in order to feel less lost."

"And that's what you were doing with Blaine." It wasn't a question, just a statement. "You were trying to feel less lost."

"I was looking for closure." Kurt said. "It's easier to let go of things like not going to NYADA or never making it on to Broadway because I don't remember experiencing them. But Blaine meant _so much_ to me. He was one of the best things that ever happened in Lima. You can't hate me for wanting to hold on to how safe I felt with him."

"I don't hate you." Sebastian said. "You just hate me."

Kurt closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I hate the Sebastian that I remember," he said when he opened his eyes again. "You're not him. It's just difficult for me to separate you two."

"Kurt, be honest – before, when you said you're _my Kurt_, what were you thinking?"

"I wasn't thinking."

"You were thinking something."

Kurt shook his head. "I wasn't. I had no idea I'd said the words until a second after I'd said them."

"You know what I think?" Sebastian said. "I think somewhere in here..." his hand came up to brush Kurt's temple and trace back over his head. "Somewhere in your unconscious mind, you remember me. It's like you said yesterday, you know there's a reason you married me. You _know_ there's a part of you loves me but you don't let that part of you come out consciously because the idea of loving me scares you too much."

"How do you know me so well?" For the second time that night, Kurt wasn't able to stop the words until he'd already said them.

Sebastian smiled, his hand drifting down from his forehead to touch Kurt's cheek lightly. "Because," he said. "If you're my Kurt, then I'm also your Sebastian."

_Every single pair of eyes present is trained on them, Sebastian is well aware of this fact. He forces himself to ignore everyone, focuses instead on Kurt who is currently smiling at him, his arms wrapped tightly around Sebastian's waist._

Years of slowly falling in love, months of crazy preparation and here they finally are. Sharing their first dance as a married couple.

"So are we KurtandSebastian or SebastianandKurt?" Kurt asks with a teasing smile.

"Let's stick to Kurt and Sebastian." Sebastian replies, tugging Kurt closer and daring enough to slip his hands lower on his waist so they're resting just above the swell of his ass. "Don't go all coupley on me. I'm freaked out enough as it is." Kurt laughs and leans up to kiss Sebastian with just the barest brush of his lips. "Tease." Sebastian grumbles when he pulls away.

"You're mine forever now." Kurt says, his eyes shining.

Sebastian drops his forehead to rest against Kurt, his heart aching with the sheer amount of love he feels for this man in this moment. He kisses the corner of Kurt's mouth, brushes their noses together and breathes in deeply. "I've only ever been yours. Difference is, now it's official."


End file.
